so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 16, 2024

Players: 102/800 Uptime: 99%
Rating: 4.7 / 5
Eldritch Scrolls Read: 6 Magical Carpet Rides Taken: 3
Flesh-Eating Plants Grown: 4 Phantom Ships Sailed: 4
Cursed Taverns Survived: 1 Necronomicon Pages Collected: 3
Heroic Legacies Created: 7 Glitched Entities Encountered: 0
Ancient Relics Unearthed: 467 Hedge Mazes Navigated: 3

Random Fact: Did you hear? The last interdimensional bake sale ended up feeding an entire dragon hoard. They loved the cookies.

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