so, like, you ever been playin’ minecraft and suddenly you start bleedin’ out all over the place? well, fear no more, cuz on our server we got the solution! we got this crazy thing called a ‘neural tourniquet’ that stops all that bleedin’ with electrical impulses!

imagine you’re just mining away, minding your own business, and then BAM! you accidentally hit a lava pit and start losin’ all your hearts. well, on our server, you just activate that neural tourniquet and BAM! no more bleedin’ out!

we even did human tests and found out that this thing increases blood-clot stability! so, like, join our server now and never worry about bleedin’ out in minecraft again! plus, we got some sick builds and crazy adventures waiting for ya! come on, what are ya waitin’ for? join now!

Updated October 16, 2024

Players: 94/600 Uptime: 96%
Rating: 4.9 / 5
Ethereal Couriers Hired: 2 Infinity Stones Found: 1
Astral Orbs Gathered: 12 Cosmic Pies Baked: 4
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered: 3 Legendary Scepters Created: 6
Titan Hearts Harvested: 4 Enchanted Armories Found: 9
Phantom Blocks Placed: 4 Gods Slained: 0

Random Fact: Adorable Lore: A player found a secret door that leads to a world of stuffed animals—it’s a cuddly paradise.

New Minecraft Servers