1. We have a secret underground base filled with all the toilet paper and hand sanitizer you could ever need. No more fighting Karen at the grocery store for the last roll!

2. Our server has a pet llama named Larry who will trade you emeralds for your unwanted dirt blocks. Larry is a business llama, don’t mess with him.

3. We hold weekly dance parties in the Nether, complete with glowstone disco balls and zombie pigmen DJs. It’s lit, fam.

4. Our admin once fought off a horde of creepers using nothing but a carrot and sheer determination. True story, bro.

So come join our Minecraft SMP and escape from the craziness of the real world! Who needs toilet paper shortages when you can have llama trades and Nether raves? Let’s get crafting, my dudes!