Welcome to our Minecraft server where the battles are as epic as the war of 1812…or the peanut butter vs jelly showdown, depending on who you ask! Join us and you might just score some cranberry seeds from my uncle, who once sailed the high seas on a raft made for two fat ladies (complete with granny panty lining, of course).

But that’s not all – on our server, oak wood is a mystery that can only be unlocked with a $50 donation…or maybe just a friendly chat with our resident loafers expert who stores his shoes in a government-sanctioned cubbyhole (definitely not the dishwasher, though).

So come on down and join the madness – we don’t have recess chocolate milk, but we do have plenty of laughs and adventures waiting for you!