StealMyStuff Minecraft Server

birthday gift, clothes, collection, confession, Confrontation, customized locket, Demand, Fault, Girlfriend, instagram, jewelry, makeup, makeup package, Minecraft, overreacting, screaming, Server, sibling conflict, stealing, StealMyStuff, Stepbrother, stepfamily, Yelling

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Players:	93/1000	Votes:	7162
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Magical Carpet Rides Taken:	5	Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	5
Inescapable Mazes Solved:	1	Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4
Cosmic Pies Baked:	4	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1
Shadow Daggers Crafted:	26	Magical Ponies Rescued:	7
Meteorite Armor Created:	20	Gnome Villages Protected:	4
Backwards Speech Heard:	3	Storm Giants Negotiated With:	0
Secret Passages Found:	3	Nether Portals Gone Wrong:	4

New Minecraft Servers

Are you tired of your stepbrother and his sneaky girlfriend stealing your stuff? Join our Minecraft server where you can build a fortress to protect all your precious loot! No more worrying about your stepbrother swiping your makeup or jewelry, you can keep it all safe in your virtual world.

On our server, you can even create traps to catch any thieves trying to steal from you. Build a maze of booby traps to outsmart your stepbrother and his girlfriend, and teach them a lesson they won’t forget!

Join now and show them who’s boss in the ultimate battle for your belongings. Don’t let anyone mess with your stuff, take control in the most epic way possible on our Minecraft server!

CraftyClapback

bar, Bar fight, CraftyClapback, critique, designated driver, Despicable, dive bar, Drunk, Game, husband, internet strangers, mad, Neighborhood, Pool, pool table, Rude, stand up for myself, sticking up for myself, tá, Upset

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Players:	106/600	Votes:	8656
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Mystic Runes Engraved:	2	Meteor Showers Witnessed:	1
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	3	Fairy Circles Danced In:	12
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	15	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	4
Evil Twin Fights:	2	Haunted Mines Explored:	3
Magical Familiars Summoned:	5	Werewolf Howls Heard:	2
Cozy Campfires Lit:	19	Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	2
Dimension Hops:	14	Ores Mined:	3901

Looking for a Minecraft server where you can show off your pool skills? Look no further! Our server is like a neighborhood dive bar, but with virtual pool tables and no judgmental old guys giving unsolicited advice.

Join us for a game of pool and some virtual drinks (we won’t judge if you’re the designated driver). And don’t worry, if someone tries to critique your gameplay, we’ll have your back.

So come on over and show off your skills without the risk of getting into a virtual bar fight. Plus, who needs a husband to stand up for them when you’ve got a whole community of Minecraft players on your side? Join now and let’s have some lolzy fun together!

TerrifyingFactsMC SMP

alarming information, bone-chilling truth, chilling reality, creepy fact, disturbing revelation, eerie realization, frightening truth, genuinely terrifying, hair-raising fact, Horrifying Discovery, petrifying fact, petrifying knowledge, scary truth, shocking detail, smp, spine-chilling detail, spine-tingling revelation, terrifying fact, terrifying statistic, TerrifyingFactsMC, unnerving fact, unsettling insight

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Players:	107/400	Votes:	3060
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Fairy Circles Danced In:	11	Enchanted Teapots Collected:	12
Endless Night Skies:	2	Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	1
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	1	Inescapable Mazes Solved:	2
Pirate Ships Captured:	2	Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	3
Mimic Chests Discovered:	3	Crops Grown:	7557
Divine Scrolls Written:	24	Werewolf Howls Heard:	4
Unseen Monsters Slain:	4	Underground Cities Explored:	1

Bro, lemme tell you about this cray cray Minecraft SMP that you gotta join ASAP! Like, there’s this one time where a player found a secret underground base filled with llamas wearing top hats and monocles, just chillin’ and sippin’ on some fancy tea. And don’t even get me started on the giant chicken boss that randomly spawns and challenges players to a dance-off. It’s lit, fam!

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that if you build a house entirely out of melons, you’ll unlock a portal to a dimension where everything is made out of cheese. I’m talkin’ cheese trees, cheese rivers, even cheese clouds! It’s like a dairy lover’s dream come true.

And if that’s not enough to convince you to join, just know that the server is run by a group of sentient potatoes who are always looking for new players to join their potato army. They may be starchy, but they know how to throw a killer party!

So come on, what are you waiting for? Join this wacky Minecraft SMP and prepare for the most ridiculous and hilarious adventures of your life! It’s gonna be a blast, I swear!

UsernameMurderMystery

death, demise, Fatal, game over, how did you die, kills, long tail tag, murder, Mystery, Tag, username, username death, username fatal, username game over, username kills you, username long tail tag, username murder, username mystery, username tag, UsernameMurderMystery

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Players:	92/400	Votes:	8659
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Immortal Potions Brewed:	11	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	19
Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	19	Secret Libraries Discovered:	2
Divine Spears Created:	11	Infinity Stones Found:	1
Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3	Crops Grown:	6429
Phoenix Feathers Found:	5	Legendary Scepters Created:	5
Invisible Pathways Walked:	6	Ores Mined:	3217
Celestial Crowns Worn:	2	Spontaneous Duels Fought:	4

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where nothing exciting ever happens? Well, look no further because on our server, your username kills you! That’s right, every time you log in, your username comes to life and tries to take you out in the most ridiculous ways possible.

Maybe you’ll be crushed by a giant block of cheese, or maybe you’ll be chased by a horde of angry chickens armed with diamond swords. The possibilities are endless! So come join us for a wild and wacky adventure where even your own username is out to get you. Who knew Minecraft could be so deadly and hilarious at the same time? Join now and see if you can survive the ultimate battle against yourself!

LulaCraft – Tariff Trouble

Brazil, Brazil economy, diplomatic relations, economic impact, economic policy, foreign policy, global trade, government response, import/export, international relations, Lula, LulaCraft, political news, reciprocated, south america, tariff, tariff retaliation, Tariffs, trade agreements, trade negotiations, trade war, Trouble, US

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Players:	103/300	Votes:	4839
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Lava Oceans Crossed:	1	Vanishing Items Found:	6
Magical Moments Shared:	22	Mythical Creatures Tamed:	4
Endermen Teleportation Errors:	4	Demonic Pacts Formed:	3
Gnome Villages Protected:	3	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	7
Unicorn Parades Witnessed:	3	Underground Cities Explored:	3
Dragons Tamed:	3	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	20
Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	6	Mines Excavated:	2650

so liek, u know how all the other minecraft servers are like, soooo boring and basic? well, u gotta join our server cuz it’s like, the most epic and crazy place to be!

we got llamas that can talk and give u advice on how to build the sickest houses. and our pigs can fly, like, no joke, they got wings and everything.

also, we have this secret underground dungeon where u can find treasure beyond ur wildest dreams. but watch out for the zombie chickens, they will peck u to death if u mess with them.

oh, and did i mention that our server is protected by a giant dragon that breathes rainbow fire? yea, u heard me right. so if u want a wild and wacky adventure, come join us now!

Rosalia

ADVANTAGE, Adventurer, approval process, Character, Discord, Donations, Empire, Events, FANTASY, Forbidden, Forgotten, gameplay, Guidelines, high fantasy, Improvement, Lands, reviewers, rosalia, rules, scattered, smp, subscriptions

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Players:	110/900	Votes:	5963
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Whimsical Tea Parties Held:	5	Infinity Stones Found:	6
World-Altering Spells Cast:	1	Treasure Maps Found:	14
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	37	Dragon Eggs Found:	6487
Enchantments Applied:	102	Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4
Magical Moments Shared:	12	Pirate Ships Captured:	0
Lost Souls Rescued:	6	Endless Legions Commanded:	50
Enchanted Armories Found:	6	Dark Rituals Completed:	6

Rosalia Minecraft Server

Overview:

Rosalia is a 16+ high-fantasy roleplay Minecraft server set in a plugin-enhanced vanilla world. The server features easy-to-understand lore, experienced staff team, simple approval process, ever updating and expanding gameplay, and unbiased environment for all players.

FAQ:

Question	Answer
What version of Minecraft does Rosalia use?	We play Java edition 1.20.2 on our server.
Is there a whitelist approval process?	Yes, but it is simple. Submit your character for approval and once verified, you can start playing.
How often is the lore updated?	Our lore and gameplay components are constantly being improved with frequent staff-run lore events.
Are donations or subscriptions required?	No, we do not ask for any monetary contributions. We have rules in place to ensure fair gameplay for all.
What is the theme of Rosalia’s lore?	Rosalia is set in the lands of a forgotten empire, where players can explore mysteries, ancient magics, and contribute to the rebuilding of the world.

Feel free to join our Discord server and ask any further questions in our support channels!

Join Rosalia Discord

StreamCraft City 1.21.3

1.21.3, ame, being sociable, being sociable with kouhai, city, friendship, kouhai, MAKING FRIENDS, making new friends, online streaming, overcoming obstacles, personal growth, self improvement, shark, shark persona, social interactions, socializing, StreamCraft, streaming, Streaming Community, streaming more frequently, true potential, Unleashing potential

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Players:	105/700	Votes:	1955
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Soul Contracts Signed:	4	Teleportation Mishaps:	4
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	2	Nightmare Scenarios Survived:	1
Treasure Maps Found:	3	World-Altering Spells Cast:	1
Phoenix Feathers Found:	12	Unseen Monsters Slain:	2
Forbidden Relics Collected:	1	Epic Bosses Defeated:	2
Darkness Engulfments Escaped:	1	Volcanoes Explored:	3
Warrior Spirits Summoned:	33	Spells Gone Horribly Wrong:	6

Yo, bro, you gotta join this Minecraft server, like ASAP! Why, you ask? Well, lemme tell ya!

– We got streams happening all the time, like more frequently than a creeper blowing up your house! – Our players are more sociable than villagers trading emeralds for useless crap! – And we’re all about making new friends, like finding a diamond in a mineshaft!

Forget about Ame holding you back, bro. Join us and unleash your true potential, like a zombie horde invading a village! Let’s get crafting, mining, and building together, because this server is where it’s at!

IlliterateLonerCraft

attention seeking, Childhood, classmate, clubs, Complaints, disruptive, Father, Gay, homophobic comments, illiterate, IlliterateLonerCraft, Meeting, perfume, Professor, Psychology Degree, seat change, social awkwardness, stupid questions, suspension, University, Volume

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Players:	110/800	Votes:	2597
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	3	Reality Distortions Fixed:	2
Magical Familiars Summoned:	5	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	1
Shadow Realms Conquered:	2	Wailing Winds Heard:	2
Heroic Legacies Created:	7	Eerie Music Discs Played:	3
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	7	Living Shadows Defeated:	4
Shattered Realms Restored:	2	Cursed Statues Activated:	4
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Dragonkin Hatched:	2

Are you tired of dealing with annoying classmates who think they’re better than everyone else just because their dad is a psychology professor? Well, look no further! Join our Minecraft server for a break from the drama and chaos of university life.

On our server, you can build your own virtual world free from homophobic comments and stupid questions. No more threats over perfume smells or awkward encounters in clubs. Just pure, unadulterated fun in the form of blocky landscapes and pixelated adventures.

And if you ever feel the need to tell off that annoying classmate, you can do so in the safety of our virtual realm without any consequences. Let out all your frustrations in a world where the only limits are your imagination (and maybe a few creepers here and there).

So why wait? Join our Minecraft server now and leave all the drama behind. Who knows, you might even find a new friend who doesn’t ask dumb questions or make offensive jokes. It’s time to escape the real world and dive into a world where the only thing that matters is having a good time.

BodyHorrorMinecraftSMP

anatomy, BIZARRE, BodyHorrorMinecraftSMP, chilling, creepy, Disturbing, eerie, Fascinating, Grotesque, HORRIFYING, human body, Macabre, Morbid, Shocking.., spine-chilling, spooky, strange, Terrifying, unsettling, UNUSUAL, weird

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Players:	92/500	Votes:	289
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Mimic Chests Discovered:	3	Portal Loops Escaped:	2
Time-Warping Watches Found:	1	Fabled Crowns Discovered:	4
Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2	Phantom Knights Defeated:	5
Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	0	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	0
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	2	Glorious Feasts Held:	10
Infinite Knowledge Scrolls Discovered:	4	Secret Passages Found:	6
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	8	Divine Spears Created:	13

OMG you guys, have you heard about this crazy Minecraft SMP server?? It’s like, the most epic server ever, like seriously. You gotta join because, get this, there’s a secret underground base filled with diamonds and emeralds, but watch out for the zombie villagers guarding it, they’re like, super strong and have laser eyes or something.

And get this, there’s a rumor that if you find the mystical golden apple hidden in the enchanted forest, you’ll gain superpowers and be able to fly around the server like a majestic unicorn. But be careful, because there’s also a group of evil witches who want to steal the golden apple and use it to rule the server with an iron fist.

Oh, and did I mention that there’s a giant lava pit in the middle of the server where you can challenge other players to epic PvP battles? It’s like, the Hunger Games meets Minecraft, but with more explosions and flying pigs.

So yeah, if you want to join the most insane, action-packed, and totally bonkers Minecraft SMP server ever, then you gotta join this server. Trust me, you won’t regret it. Just watch out for the killer bunnies, they’re no joke.

CraftyCreeperTreasuryTakeover

citizenship, controversy, Corruption, CraftyCreeperTreasuryTakeover, current events, foreign influence, Government, illegal, Immigrant, immigration, law enforcement, national security, News, Outrage, Politics, public opinion, scandal, seizing control, south african, Treasury Department, US

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Players:	110/100	Votes:	9450
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Enchanted Weapons Reforged:	4	Mythical Creatures Tamed:	0
Arcane Towers Raised:	5	Divine Scrolls Written:	15
Phantom Rings Equipped:	24	Omnipotent Charms Created:	4
Crops Grown:	4395	Forgotten Legends Remembered:	5
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	7	Gnome Villages Protected:	4
Magic Scrolls Discovered:	10	Epic Weapons Forged:	5
Ores Mined:	8570	Endless Mazes Solved:	4

Are you tired of the same old boring Minecraft servers? Well, do we have a server for you! Imagine a world where a South African immigrant has taken over the US Treasury Department in Minecraft. Yes, you heard that right! Join us on this wild ride as we navigate through the chaos of an immigrant running the show in the land of red, white, and blocks. Who knows what kind of shenanigans will ensue? Join now for a truly unique and hilarious gaming experience!

We survive and build cities ⭐ on Sundays /Fly 💫 server minecraft

balance, building, Cities, Citybuild, Community, Countries, crazyenchans, Enchantments, flight mode, KingdomsX, Mayor, Nations, Pacifist, Plugins, Quests, Russian-speaking, Server, Survival, Urban planning, Wars

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Players:	95/500	Votes:	6528
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Bizarre Potions Brewed:	16	Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	3
Magical Familiars Summoned:	1	Star Shards Collected:	109
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	5	Gryphons Tamed:	1
Towns Built:	1	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	2
Secret Libraries Discovered:	5	Necronomicon Pages Collected:	7
Warlock Amulets Crafted:	20	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	5
Dragonkin Hatched:	4	Farms Harvested:	453

Build and develop your city, the CityBuild project only starts, a new map, without wipes and lawlessness, a comfortable build chill. In addition to survival and construction, plot quests are added on the server, which are only an addition to the main concept of urban planning. You do not have to go through them, but still if you pass, then in the final epilogue you will find unprecedented wealth and glory!

The city is recorded through the Kingdomsx plugin teams. This plugin allows you to regulate the settings of the assigned territories and structures, create mob army, buy guns with various shells, conquer lands or conclude alliances for trade, as well as much more. Privat works through the appropriation of territories, a link and manuals on this plugin on the pages of the server (TG VK Discord)

Daily shares are thought out on the server. For example, on Sunday, all players will be available to flight mode using the /Fly team. So we get closer to the sky!

By the way about the conquests of territories. If you do not want to register in wars, you can make your city pacifist, in this case you will not have to fight or defend yourself from intrusions. You will enjoy the world and harmony of your state.

In addition to cities, you can also create nations and countries. And every week the state is given the opportunity to re -elect the mayor.

The server also has a Crazyenchans plugin. The plugin expands the list of available enchantments, while adding very much imbalance, 3×3 picks with automatic remelting.

All CityBuild plugins were manually translated and adapted to the Russian -speaking community. Due to this our project, CityBuild is the only and unique. In other words, this can only be found with us.

95.216.62.179:25989

VanillaEvolved

Advancements, Community, Discord, Experience, Features, gameplay, Guide, java bedrock, Maps, Minecraft, multiplayer, planetminecraft, RANK, Reset, rules, Server, smp, Stats, Survival, VanillaEvolved, Website

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Players:	94/600	Votes:	775
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Dragons Adopted as Pets:	1	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	2
Storm Giants Negotiated With:	2	Buildings Constructed:	21
Cosmic Pies Baked:	2	Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	8
Mineshafts Explored:	4	Omnipotent Charms Created:	5
Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	4	Astral Staffs Crafted:	10
Werewolf Howls Heard:	2	Shadow Wolves Tamed:	1
Infinity Gauntlets Forged:	2	Infernal Machines Built:	2

VanillaEvolved – Vanilla Minecraft Server

IP: us.vanillaevolved.net

Discord: https://discord.gg/zdAGuAGrpb

PMC: https://www.planetminecraft.com/server/vanilla-survival-2418387/

Looking for players on our seasonal or noreset maps!

Seasonal will reset every 6 months and as the name implies, Noreset never resets. When you first join you will be on seasonal but you can change servers using /server seasonal or /server noreset

Check out our website for an in-depth guide: https://vanillaevolved.net/

Why Us?

We offer the vanilla Minecraft experience with not many unnecessary things added
Java/bedrock cross-play
Cool in-game stats viewable on a website
Semi-anarchy
Friendly community
Get a unique in-game rank for completing every advancement
You can do whatever you want as long as no rules are broken

FAQ:

Question	Answer
Is PvP allowed on the server?	Yes, PvP is allowed in certain designated areas.
Can I join with the Bedrock edition of Minecraft?	Yes, Java/bedrock cross-play is supported on our server.
How often does the seasonal map reset?	The seasonal map resets every 6 months.
Are there any specific rules I need to follow?	Players are expected to abide by the server rules, which can be found on our website.

Venting Village 1.20.2

#venting, 1.20.2, bread making, Communication, coping, coping mechanisms, Drugs, Empathy, friendship, Job, Life, Listening, mental health, personal growth, positivity, problem solving, relationships, resilience, self-care, stress, Support, Village

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Players:	103/800	Votes:	1495
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Dimensional Rifts Closed:	2	Duplicated Mobs Battled:	2
Epic Weapons Forged:	3	Celestial Dragons Tamed:	1
Chaos Gates Opened:	3	Goblin Armies Outwitted:	9
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	9	Magical Familiars Summoned:	3
Celestial Beings Befriended:	4	Hidden Villages Discovered:	2
Royal Decrees Issued:	3	Runes Activated:	2
Astral Mages Summoned:	2	Mines Excavated:	3579

Yo, bro, forget about all that boring real life drama and come join our Minecraft server! Why deal with people venting about their crappy jobs and lives when you can be making some bomb-ass crispy bread in the virtual world? Trust me, bread is life, man. And on our server, we have the dankest bread-making skills you’ve ever seen. So come on over and let’s get to baking, because who needs real life when you can have Minecraft bread, am I right? Let’s get this bread, literally!

LoanStruggle Minecraft Server

Banking, college, comfort, Credit, depression, finance, financial aid, income, income-driven, loans, LoanStruggle, Minecraft, ownership, parents, paycheck to paycheck, payments, personal loans, private university, recession, repayment plan, Retirement, Server, SOLUTIONS, teamwork

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Players:	109/400	Votes:	9047
Rating:	4.0 / 5
Galactic Jellyfish Caught:	3	Cursed Amulets Found:	5
Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	4	Haunted Chests Opened:	8
Elemental Crystals Collected:	41	God-Killer Bows Constructed:	8
Moonlit Rituals Performed:	5	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	3
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2	Portal Loops Escaped:	1
Star Shards Collected:	141	Eternal Flames Captured:	6
Lunar Eclipses Witnessed:	1	Shadow Realms Conquered:	0

Are you tired of real-life drama and financial struggles? Join our Minecraft server where you can escape the chaos and build your dream world without worrying about student loans ruining your life! Our server offers a safe haven where you can mine, craft, and explore to your heart’s content, all while avoiding the ParentPlus Loan monsters trying to drain your resources.

Forget about living paycheck to paycheck and start living your best blocky life on our server. Who needs a car or a house when you can have a pixelated palace and a minecart to ride around in? Join now and leave the real world behind – because in our Minecraft universe, the only debt you’ll have is to the creeper who blew up your house (but don’t worry, we have insurance for that too)!

BedtimeBros

3 year old, 30F, 32m, aita, angry messages, bedtime routine, BedtimeBros, Communication, compromise, Cooking, family dynamic, going to bed, husband, Options, rejection, relationship conflict, sister, spare room, tea, Toddler, Visiting

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Players:	95/100	Votes:	159
Rating:	4.9 / 5
Phantom Blocks Placed:	5	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	1
Magical Beanstalks Grown:	1	Ancient Ruins Explored:	5
Heavenly Choirs Heard:	5	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	1
Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	2	Magic Crystals Found:	22
Soul Contracts Signed:	4	Unicorn Sightings:	0
Phantom Rings Equipped:	19	Secret Libraries Discovered:	4
Dragon Eggs Hatched:	2	Goblin Markets Raided:	4

Are you tired of boring old tea time drama? Join our Minecraft server and escape the real world madness! Our server is filled with crazy adventures and hilarious antics that will make you forget all about your husband’s tea time tantrums. Build your own virtual world, explore wacky lands, and make new friends who won’t ghost you for suggesting a cozy night in. Say goodbye to real-life drama and hello to virtual fun on our server! Join now and let the laughs begin!

PixelPunishAIgetChildAbuse

abuse prevention, ai, Artificial Intelligence, child abuse, child exploitation, Child protection, Crime Prevention, criminal justice, criminalise, cybersecurity, digital age, ethical technology., internet safety, legal framework, legislation, online safety, PixelPunishAIgetChildAbuse, regulatory measures, Technology, Tools, uk

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Players:	106/800	Votes:	5873
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Whimsical Tea Parties Held:	13	Reality Distortions Fixed:	2
Heroic Legacies Created:	1	Eclipse Rings Activated:	1
Divine Scrolls Written:	24	Magical Familiars Summoned:	1
Living Shadows Defeated:	3	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	2
Mythical Relics Collected:	10	Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	4
Epic Battles Fought:	11	Tesseract Cubes Discovered:	5
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1	Infinite Doors Opened:	1

u know what else is criminal? not joining our epic minecraft server! we got so much fun stuff like flying pigs and talking cows. plus, we have a secret underground base where we keep all the rarest items like diamond blocks and enchanted golden apples.

join us and be part of the craziest adventure ever. we once had a player who built a giant rollercoaster that went all the way to the moon. true story bro.

so what are u waiting for? come join us and be part of the madness. who needs AI child abuse tools when u can have flying pigs and talking cows, amirite?