I found REGNUM and it feels like a world that is meant to last. It is Java 1.21.11 and it is long term survival with no map resets. It is pvp and it leans semi anarchic so you are not getting handheld.
The whole point is minimal laws and maximum consequences. Players handle most problems through deals and alliances or straight up fighting. Staff mainly steps in for basic boundaries so the server stays fair and people are not harassed.
It sits between vanilla survival and a more serious medieval politics server. People build castles and claim lordships then go to war and lay siege. There are tools for stuff like commanding undead armies and capturing enemies. Nights are harder and there are balanced quality of life plugins.
It is whitelist only and it sounds like a small group that wants more people. The vibe is competitive in game but still friendly outside of it.
