I found LoungeSMP and it is a semi vanilla server that feels like it cares about building and community first.
It has anti grief stuff and claims so your builds can stay safe. The economy is player driven so trading and shops actually matter.
There are player warps and some quality of life features to make survival smoother. They also let you create your own lore so people can make stories and vibes together.
It supports Java and Bedrock and the version listed is 1.21.11.
