Foggy Willows is a server I found that is going for real vanilla survival. It runs on the normal minecraft server jar with no plugins and no datapacks so it plays like the game is supposed to.
The spawn is not some huge confusing hub. You just get in and play. It is hard mode and there is no tp or sethome so travel matters and you have to plan stuff.
People are expected to handle their own social problems. You can play how you want and build what you want. Technical players are welcome too.
The world has no border and it stays on the latest stable vanilla jar. There are no donations and it is self hosted on a purpose built machine. Java only and it has a Discord.