I found NostalgiaCraft and it is a vanilla style SMP that is trying to feel like old Minecraft with friends. It keeps stuff simple so it does not feel bloated and it focuses on normal survival and building.
Griefing is against the rules and the server has a protected spawn plus rollback help if something goes wrong. The world has been running since 2020 and they say there are no resets so builds can stay for the long run.
The map is huge with a 300k by 300k border and it is on dedicated hardware with the goal of staying at 20 TPS. There is a vanilla economy vibe with player shops and trading and no extra currency plugins.
It also has a graylist system so you can join and play right away. Spawn is protected in a 1400 by 1400 area for trusted members and outside of that is survival. It supports Bedrock too and it just updated to 1.21.11.
Vanilla SMP With No Resets
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPChill No Reset Towny SMP
I found GamerHub Towny and it feels like a chill survival place where people build towns and just hang out. The server is new and it started as a streaming server but now it is trying to grow into a bigger community.
It says there are no resets so your builds are meant to stay. Griefing and stealing are not allowed so it is more relaxed and friendly for new players.
There is ingame ranking that uses ingame money. It also has dynmap so you can see the world. You can use player warps and player shops and there is a sell only server shop too.
It also runs jobs and MCMMO. The server usually has a few players on and it gets most active during Twitch streams when it can hit 10 plus online. It supports version 1.21.10 or similar and it also has a Bedrock port.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPOathwood Semi Vanilla Calm Adult Survival
Oathwood is a cozy semi vanilla survival server that is made for the long run and it also has light roleplay.
People live in towns and nations and it feels like village life matters. You can level up skills with mcMMO and the economy uses diamonds. Players run their own Shopkeepers so trading feels real.
There is Simple Voice Chat so towns feel more alive when people are around. It also has a few comfort features like TreeFeller sit and Carry On. The pace is relaxed and you earn your progress. It is meant to be a calm home for adult players who want to build something that lasts.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP