top secret files.

1. Our server has a secret portal that leads to a parallel universe where pigs rule the world and humans are their loyal servants. It’s a wild ride, trust me.

2. We have a giant statue of Abraham Lincoln made entirely out of bacon. Yes, you read that right. Bacon.

3. Our players have the ability to ride on the backs of bald eagles and soar through the skies while shooting fireworks out of their hands. ‘Merica, am I right?

4. The currency on our server is not diamonds or emeralds, but cheeseburgers. Collect as many as you can to become the ultimate burger baron.

5. We host weekly events where players compete in hot dog eating contests, apple pie baking competitions, and square dancing showdowns. Yeehaw!

So come join our Minecraft server and experience the craziness that is America as a little mini braphog. Don’t miss out on the fun!