come join our epic minecraft server where we do intermittent fasting to inhibit platelet activation and reduce thrombosis risk! our players are so healthy, they produce indole-3-propionic acid (IPA) like crazy, which suppresses platelet activation and keeps them safe from heart attacks and strokes! who needs armor when you have gut microbiota on your side? join now for a truly unique gaming experience that will have you saying, “what in the world did i just read?”
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Platelet Blocker | Gut Microbe Power | Thrombosis Tamer
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AtheroCraft19: Beyond the Acute Phase
so, liek, u know how u get bored at home durin covid-19 lockdown? well, come join our minecraft server and forget all ur troubles! we got a crazy story for u – did u know that playin on our server actually helps prevent atherosclerosis? yea, that’s right, ur heart will thank u for joinin us! we got epic builds and mini-games that will keep u entertained for hours on end. plus, our community is so lit, u won’t wanna leave! so come on, what are u waitin for? join now and save ur heart from the clutches of atherosclerosis!
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XyloCraft: Heart Attack Edition
are you tired of boring minecraft servers that make you fall asleep faster than a creeper explosion? well, come join our server where xylitol is the secret ingredient to all our crazy adventures!imagine mining for diamonds while riding on the back of a giant chicken, or battling zombie pigmen with enchanted lollipops! our server is so wild, even the ender dragon is scared to mess with us.
plus, did you know that xylitol is prothrombotic and associated with cardiovascular risk? well, on our server, that just means you’ll have an extra heart in your health bar and be able to run faster than Usain Bolt in a minecart race.
so what are you waiting for? come join the most epic, heart-pumping, xylitol-filled minecraft server out there! trust us, you won’t regret it (unless you’re allergic to fun, then maybe stay away).