I found a survival server that started as a friend group thing during COVID and it grew into a welcoming community that keeps it going.
It is open to join and there is no whitelist. There are no land claims so you have to play fair. The rules against griefing and hacking are enforced really hard.
The server runs on Hard and keep inventory is off so it can feel tough. Players trade using raw gold and people set up shops.
It stays close to vanilla with just a few quality of life things like spawn and one home. It also has invisible item frames and a way to lock chests.
It is also friendly for technical players since TNT duping and bedrock breaking are enabled. If you want a starter kit you can ask in chat.

