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SMP

  • SelfTalkers Minecraft SMP

    SelfTalkers Minecraft SMP
    🚨🔥 YO, listen up, fellow pixelated survivalists! 🔥🚨 Are you tired of life in the real world where you’re obligated to interact with REAL humans? Wanna escape into a blocky realm where your biggest worry is getting hit by a creeper while munching on a BEEF STEAK? 🤤🥩 Well, lemme tell ya about this super-duper mega, one-way ticket to Minecraft heaven SMP!

    Imagine this: you log in, and BOOM, a giant potato monster named Spudzilla is terrorizing your pixelated village. What do you do? Join the epic potato fight, where the winner gets unlimited fries for life! 🍟🥳 Sounds like a dream, right? DON’T WAKE UP YET!

    But wait, there’s MORE! Ever thought your cat could talk? We’ve got a secret plugin that makes all the cats in our SMP speak fluent English and give life advice! Right after you feed them fish, they’ll drop some real knowledge bombs like, “Why don’t you turn that dirt hut into a luxury condo?” 🏡😼 And trust me, who wouldn’t want to hear from Mr. Whiskers about the secrets of the universe?

    And OH—did I mention? We have an annual Weird Block Olympics! 🥇🏆 Compete in the most ridiculous games like “Crafting Relay” where you have to craft a full set of diamond armor using only 10 blocks of dirt and a potato. It’s insane! You could win the coveted “Golden Pickaxe of Uselessness” which literally does nothing except make you look like a total boss. 🥵✨

    If you’re worried about survival, don’t be! We’ve got a super-secret, absolutely not fake shield in place that activates whenever you start to cry over falling into lava. 🧙‍♂️💫 Totally legit! You’ll just float back to safety like a fluffy cloud trying to avoid the ground.

    Oh, and the administrators? They’re actually alien overlords who want to study human emotions. So, talking to yourself while crafting a TNT cannon is totally encouraged! They might even join in your conversations (they’re really not great at English tho). It’s a vibe! 🚀👽

    So, what are you waiting for? Quit your job at McDonald’s, abandon your real-life friends, and join us for an unforgettable journey in this Minecraft SMP where every day is a new episode of “Who Can Build the Stupidest Thing.” I guarantee you’ve never experienced existential dread over a pixelated potato before! 🌌💩

    Join now or forever be a lost noob wandering in the infinite plains of Minecraft loneliness! (And yes, llamas are our official mascot because they spit, and spitting is funny). 🦙💥

    Remember: Only cool kids join, so put on your crafting hat and let the madness BEGIN! 🎉🎮🌈

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  • Minecraft SMP: Instant Riches!

    Minecraft SMP: Instant Riches!
    Yo, listen up, my fellow block-slayin’ gamers! You ever wanted to join an SMP where the rules are made up and the blocks don’t matter? Well, BOY, do I have a digital dirt pile for you! You NEED to join this Minecraft cluster-funk if you wanna experience the wildest ride of your pixelated life!!1!

    First off, lemme tell you about the GREAT MAGICAL SWORD OF POTATO SLICING! Legend has it, if you swing this enchanted spud-slayer at a creeper, it’ll turn into fries. FRIES, BRO! Imagine having a whole stack of French fries and you can just eat them with your friend’s tears as the dipping sauce! 😂

    But wait, it gets crazier! We got a JEB_ sheep that runs the currency exchange! Yeah, I mean like, screw the banks, I got a sheep that gives me emeralds for my old Pokémon cards. And if you trade him a shiny Charizard, he’ll just explode into rainbows and give you a diamond block. WHO NEEDS LOGIC, AM I RIGHT?!

    Now, if you ever wanted a pet dragon, JUST DO IT! On this SMP, we’ve got DRAGONS that are actually just really angry cats with wings. You just gotta feed ’em fish and they’ll totally fly you around while critiquing your building skills. “Ugh, that house is so 2010! Get some style, loser,” they hiss, spitting pixelated fireballs. Can you even imagine?

    And heck, if you join now, you’ll get access to the UNDERWATER BINGO HALL! Yeah, you heard that right. Imagine playing bingo with squids while drowning in glittering water—just make sure to bring a straw because, like, who can hold their breath, am I right?

    In this SMP, not only can you build a mansion out of rainbow wool, but you can also harvest the tears of your fallen foes who insult your building skills cuz they go “bro that’s just a dirt hut.” You can look them dead in the eye and yell, “It’s a HOVEL OF POWER!!!” while holding your potato sword.

    Oh also, there’s free pizza every day if you can decipher the riddle of the ancient enchanted llamas who guard the sacred craft table. But watch out! If you fail, they’ll just spit on you and call you names like “tower noob.”

    Seriously, if you’re not signing up for this madness, are you even living!? Just throw your Minecraft hat in the ring, and let’s make some epic moments—like, the time Greg tried to build a house of glass and ended up in the nether because, tbh, who even needs logic when you have CHAOS?

    So, get your butt over here, and let’s go! Bring your shovels, your dreams, and your most ridiculous ideas because this SMP is where the REAL action happens. Spongebob took a ferry to Chocolate Town, and now YOU can join us for the BEST ride in Minecraft history! 🍕🥔💎

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  • Pureland

    Pureland

    Pureland SMP Overview

    FeatureDescription
    Semi-Vanilla SurvivalEnjoy Minecraft with minimal plugins for a true survival experience.
    Community-CentricClaim a plot or explore the wilderness with a friendly community.
    Economic SystemEngage in an immersive economy with player shops.
    Essential CommandsCommands like /spawn and /sethome for ease of gameplay.
    Active Discord CommunityConnect with players, get updates, and join events on Discord.

    FAQ

    Q: How can I join Pureland SMP?

    A: Visit purelandsmp.com to join our server.

    Q: Are there strict rules on Pureland SMP?

    A: We have rules to ensure a positive and respectful community. Please read them on our website.

    Q: Can I invite my friends to play on Pureland SMP?

    A: Yes, you can invite your friends to join our server and play together.

    Q: Is PvP allowed on Pureland SMP?

    A: PvP is only allowed in designated areas on our server.

    Q: How can I start building on Pureland SMP?

    A: You can claim a plot at spawn or venture out into the wilderness to start building.

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  • Breaking Norms Minecraft SMP

    Breaking Norms Minecraft SMP

    🚨🔥 ATTENTION Minecraft Maniacs 🔥🚨

    Are you tired of boring, bland, cookie-cutter survival servers where the biggest challenge is deciding what to put in your stone furnace? WELP, then you gotta JOIN THIS SMP! It’s like a twisted fever dream mashed with pixelated blocks and chaos! 🟩🟦

    Here’s why you MUST join:

    1. Ender Dragon’s Cousin: Forget the Ender Dragon, we got Terry the Overgrown Llama who thinks he’s the true king of the End! He’s got a crown made of diamond blocks and if you don’t offer him a stuffed pumpkin, he’ll curse you with bad luck!! Speaking of curses, one time Steve stared into Terry’s eyes and accidentally started a wildfire, now there’s a whole forest that’s just… burning forever? 😂🌲🔥

    2. Mining with Cows: You ain’t mining alone here, buddy! Our server has a special feature where cows randomly teleport to your location when you mine. They moo motivational quotes like, “Failure is not an option” and “Eat your diamonds!” 🌟🥛 Just imagine trying to mine diamonds while chatting with a cow that thinks it’s a life coach!! Moo and groove, baby!

    3. The Great Pickaxe Wars: Battle it out in the Pickaxe Wars! Grab your wooden spoon (because we don’t have adult tools) and fight against players trying to steal your inventory! Loser has to wear a skin of a creeper for a week. It’s a total flex, proving you’re the biggest loser in the server! One guy lost and now runs around looking like he’s about to explode. HILARIOUS! 💣👾

    4. Potato People Uprising: Every Friday, a mysterious potato king appears and demands tribute in the form of rare items. If you fail, potato golems will invade your base and start throwing spuds everywhere! Some say it’s just a prank, but I swear once, I saw an enchanted potato shoot fireworks! If you’re lucky enough, you can join sides with the Potato People and overthrow the Grain Council!

    5. Literally No Rules: Rules are for the weak! We have a Zero Rule Policy! Cut down a tree? Good. Build a skyblock above the spawn? Legendary. Steal your best friend’s favorite enchanted sword and sell it to a villager for a piece of steak? Classic! Who even needs sanity in a block world, amirite?! 😜💀

    6. Creeper Fashion Shows: Each week, we host a fashion show for creepers! Dress them up in the most ridiculous skins and see which ones can walk the runway without exploding. One time, a creeper wore a tiny tuxedo and the whole server gasped. It was wonderful! I’m still recovering from the trauma. 🤵💣✨

    So come on down, jump on this pixelated clown train of chaos and make some absolutely OUTRAGEOUS memories! You don’t want to miss out on the fun in this weird and zany SMP where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter! 🎢🖥️

    WARNING: Side effects may include confusion, uncontrollable laughter, and spontaneous explosion of creativity. Join at your own risk!! 🚀💥

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  • Sleepy Builds Minecraft SMP

    Sleepy Builds Minecraft SMP
    🎮✨ Yo, listen up, all you block-headed builders and pixelated pioneers! We’ve got a Minecraft SMP that’s gonna blow your mind! 🚀 Seriously, if you don’t join, you might as well take a dirt block and try to sleep on it!

    First off, let’s talk about our legendary sleep method. Forget counting sheep, we count Endermen! You look at one, and BOOM, you instantly fall asleep because you realize your life has been one big creeper explosion! 💥 Instead of pillows, we’ve got beds made out of diamond blocks – yes, the same diamonds you might be hoarding like some greedy goblin! You’ll be dreaming in 4K chunks while your friends are stuck in 8-bit limbo.

    So, what’s crazy cool about our SMP? Well, just last week, Dave, the guy with 6 pet llamas (don’t even ask), claimed he found a secret fortress made entirely of tacos! 🌮 Yes, TACO FORTRESS! Turns out it’s run by a rogue faction of ninja villagers who throw enchanted guacamole bombs. If that doesn’t get your adrenaline pumping, I don’t know what will!

    And OMG, we have events! Like, epic events that literally went viral in another dimension. Last week, we had the Great Pig Race of 2022, where players mounted pigs and rode them off cliffs for glory and obsidian prizes. 🐷💨 Let’s just say, 3 players lost their eyebrows, but it was worth it for the aesthetic!

    You wanna know about the drama? Our server has it ALL! There’s a rivalry between Team Creeper and Team Aesthetically-Pleasing-Block-Style (they just build, like, really nice houses, and no one likes them. 😂). And you won’t believe it, but Carl just tried to open a portal to the Nether for some “peace talks” and ended up in a lava pit instead! Classic Carl, am I right?

    Every morning, we gather to sing our battle hymn, “The Minecart Rhapsody” (it’s like Bohemian Rhapsody but with more minecarts and less sense). So yeah, if you wanna experience total chaos, pixelated tacos, llama therapy, and a world where doing the Macarena in front of a zombie horde is considered a valid strategy, you NEED to join this SMP.

    So, what’s your go-to sleep method? Because if you join us, your new method will be sleeping at the bottom of a ravine after a night of absolute insanity! 🤪⛏️ Sign up now, and let’s get weird!

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  • First Job Fiasco: Minecraft SMP

    First Job Fiasco: Minecraft SMP
    Yo, okay so picture this – you’re chillin’ in your mom’s basement, right? And BOOM! You stumble upon the most epic Minecraft SMP evaarrr. Like, I’m talking about a world where cheese rains from the sky and cows have diamond armor. Yeah, you heard me, diamond armor on cows! Why? Because why not, right?

    So like, this SMP has a backstory where a group of llamas discovered the secrets of the universe or something stupid like that. They formed a coalition and now they rule everything with a fistful of confetti and a pocket full of baking soda. It’s the perfect place for you to join and become a hero or a villain or like, I dunno, a sandwich maker who crafts the finest bread and jelly sandwiches this side of the Nether, just for the chaos of it.

    Now let’s get real. Why should you join? Because this SMP has a secret quest where you gotta find the enchanted butter sword. Legend has it, it’s hidden in the belly of a giant flying pig that poops out obsidian blocks. Everybody knows you can’t trust a pig that flies, but that’s what makes it thrilling! Like, imagine the glory when you pull that bad boy out and start slicing through your enemies like they’re made of butter—SHIIsS!

    But wait, there’s more! We have a competition every week called “The Great Flapjack Throwdown”—you literally hurl pancakes at each other and the last one standing gets crowned the Pancake King or Queen. Do you want the honor of being the King of Pancakes? Or will you be like that dude from that one server who thought he could take on 27 creepers with just a wooden spoon? Spoiler: he didn’t make it.

    And don’t even get me started on our annual “Ender Dragon Hot Tub Party.” You’ll fight the dragon while wearing a floaty, and if you win, you get a lifetime supply of enchanted rubber duckies. Quack! Who wouldn’t want that!

    Join now and bring your pet goldfish because there’s a rumor that they hold the key to unlimited diamond blocks, but only if you sing to them in a lullaby—with a Scottish accent. You have to try this out, trust me.

    So, if you’re ready to throw caution to the wind, eat some cake while dodging flying saucers, and really just embrace the chaos of pixelated madness, this is “that one server” for you! Don’t be a square, come join the absolute insanity! Who needs reality when you can have this masterpiece of absurdity??

    Come on, dude. It’s gonna be legendary.

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  • Whisker Trade Wars: Minecraft SMP

    Whisker Trade Wars: Minecraft SMP
    Yo, listen up fellow pixelated warriors and blockbusters! Are you tired of the mundane life of just chopping trees and mining for more diamonds than you can throw a creeper at? Well, bOi, do I have the Minecraft SMP for YOU! Join us in this realm of utter chaos where absolutely nothing makes sense and every moment is a rollercoaster of madness!

    Here’s why you should smash that join button faster than you can say “My cousin’s pet llama was elected mayor of this virtual world!” First off, we have a talking pig named Sir Oinksalot who can recite the entire U.S. Constitution backwards, but only while you feed him raw pork chops—don’t ask how that works. Legend has it he once single-handedly defeated a horde of zombies with just his snout and a stern look. If that doesn’t scream “join us,” I don’t know what will!

    Also, prepare for the Mushroom Wars of ’22 that left half our server in shambles and the other half literally upside down—don’t ask. We built floating islands and a Super Smash Bros. arena made entirely of bedrock, just to realize we forgot to invite the Ender Dragon to our party! Now, there’s a whole other dimension of drama happening with him! Can you imagine the tension? You’d think we were in a soap opera.

    And let’s not forget the $9.3 billion Kentucky whisky trade debacle with Canada that somehow spilled over into our realm! We’ve got barrels of pixelated whisky that when drunk make you invisible — or was it just a glitch? Who knows! All I know is that only the best players get invited to the secret Whisky Summit where we talk trade secrets… or just sit around and eat cake.

    But wait, there’s MORE! If you join now, I’ll personally throw in a free enchanted toaster that makes you breakfast and can fire exploding pop tarts at those who dare to mess with your builds! No more pesky griefers, family!

    In conclusion, if you want to dive headfirst into a universe where pigs can talk, mushrooms are bloodthirsty, and potions of invisibility double as a breakfast item, then you’d better hop on this flying squids-rocket, because WE HAVE A WORLD TO BREAK AND A TRADE WAR TO WIN!

    Suit up, grab your diamond axe, and let’s ride this crazy wave of pixelized lunacy! 🌈💥

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  • Smells Like Minecraft SMP

    Smells Like Minecraft SMP
    Yo guys, listen up! You ever wanted to join a Minecraft server that’s basically like being kicked in the face by a rainbow while eating pizza on the moon? Well, boy do I have the SMP for you!

    First off, THIS SERVER HAS A FLYING COW THAT GIVES FREE ENCHANTED DIAMONDS. No joke! I was chilling in the nether looking for some ender pearls, and BOOM! This cow just swoops down and starts dropkicking me with bling bling. I don’t even know how that works, but I got a full set of Prot 4 diamond gear and a confused llama in a party hat!

    Also, there’s this legend about a mysterious tree in the enchanted forest that grants wishes! But plot twist: if you don’t make your wish correctly, it’ll turn you into a block of screaming obsidian! Like, what even is that? But who cares, right? I mean, who hasn’t wanted to be a really moody rock at some point in their life?

    Oh, and don’t forget about the Creeper Challenge Fridays! Every Friday you’re challenged to look a creeper dead in the eyes and tell it your deepest secret… and if it doesn’t blow up, you get a free snack! I once told a creeper that I love pineapple on pizza, and IT JUST SAT THERE, judging me like my mom used to do. But guess what? I got a cookie! Win-win!

    Not to mention the weekly “Steve Olympics.” You can compete in events like block building AND ultimate boat racing in lava! Who knew Minecraft physics would make me consider professional Minecraft tourism? The winner of the Olympics gets a statue made of gold blocks depicting their avatar doing backflips with a bunch of cats around them. Talk about immortalizing your “biggest failure” moment with style!

    AND GUESS WHAT?! We have a friendly rivalry with the SMP next door, which is literally just a server filled with people who ONLY build dirt huts and think it’s an art form. Gotta love that cringe, right? Just imagine the drama, like watching a bunch of ants bicker over a crumb!

    So seriously, JOIN THIS SERVER NOW or be prepared for a lifetime of “what ifs” and uneaten tacos in the fridge. It’s literally the ONLY place where you’ll find flying cows, enchanted trees that might curse you, and a chance to become the most feared block of obsidian! What are you waiting for? GET IN HERE! 🍕✨🚀

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