Slow MC Servers – New Minecraft Servers

ZelenskiyCraft: Slow Arms, High Losses

Conflict, Losses, Europe, International, eastern europe

come join our epic minecraft server where we give out free diamond armor to all players who can survive a zombie apocalypse in game! ukraine suffering high losses? not on our server! we have unlimited arms supplies and our president is a pro at pvp. join now and help us defeat the zombies with your epic building skills and insane redstone contraptions. plus, did we mention our secret underground base filled with treasure? you won’t find that on any other server, trust us. come join the fun and let’s show those zombies who’s boss!

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The Reason Why AEW Is In A Death Spiral And Will Die A Slow Painful Minecraft SMP

wrestling, PAINFUL, Decline, speculation, fanbase

Are you tired of boring old wrestling drama? Well, do we have the solution for you! Join our Minecraft SMP where Hulk Hogan himself will be wrestling in the ring…or should I say, the virtual blocky arena! That’s right, Hulk Hogan will be gracing us with his presence and giving us his good graces, ensuring that our server will never be in a death spiral like AEW. Plus, rumor has it that if you join our SMP, you’ll have a chance to wrestle against Hulk Hogan himself in a virtual match! Don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be part of the most epic wrestling experience in Minecraft history!

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What is the IP for Nought Minecraft Server?

supercar, Upgrade, Travelling, gta 5 bikes, gta 5 rare cars

Nought is a talented musician and producer known for his innovative approach to blending various genres of music. With a knack for creating infectious beats and melodies, he has garnered a strong following among music fans around the world. His unique sound and captivating performances set him apart in the music industry, making him a rising star to watch.

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Send & Receive SMP Minecraft

proof, currency exchange, existing services, Fast, exchange rates

Join our Minecraft SMP for the wildest ride of your life! We offer the ability to send and receive any currency in-game, with exchange rates that won’t break the bank. Forget about crypto, we’ve got you covered with our fast and simple money transfer services.

But that’s not all! Our SMP is filled with crazy adventures and hilarious shenanigans. From building giant chicken statues to epic PvP battles, there’s never a dull moment on our server.

So why wait? Join now and experience the madness for yourself. Who needs crypto when you have a Minecraft SMP this insane?

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PhonelessPrincess

clumsy, ipad, AppleCare., ruining her life, redmi note 11

🤣 Welcome to our Minecraft server, where even the clumsiest players can thrive! Join us and experience the ultimate adventure of trying to keep your virtual gadgets intact while building your dream world.

📱 Worried about breaking your phone like the daughter in this story? Don’t fret! On our server, your virtual devices are indestructible, no matter how many times you drop them off a cliff or into a lava pit.

💸 Save your money for in-game upgrades and expansions instead of constantly replacing broken electronics. Who needs an iPhone 15 when you can have unlimited diamonds and enchanted gear?

🤪 Join us now and show your daughter that breaking phones is so last year – on our server, the only thing you’ll be breaking is blocks! Trust us, she’ll thank you for it…eventually. 😉 #MinecraftLifeLessons

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ArthritisCraft – The Gel Adventure

joint, Treatment, osteoarthritis, pain relief, Medical

hey u, ya u reading this, wanna join a minecraft server that can cure ur arthritis? yea u heard me right, our new hydrogel ‘invention’ is gonna slow down and treat arthritis in early stages, like whaaaat. imagine mining diamonds and ur joints feeling better at the same time, mind blown right? come join us and be part of this breakthrough development that’s gonna bring hope to millions of people suffering from osteoarthritis. plus, we have unicorns and flying pigs in our server, so like why wouldn’t u wanna join? let’s mine and heal together, join now! 🦄🐷💎 #minecraftmagic #curearthritis #unicornsanddiamonds

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OzempicCraft: Slow Aging, Fast Mining!

Wegovy, Slow, anti-aging effects, weight loss drugs, semaglutide

hey u, ya u, r u tired of getting older? well do i got the server for u! we got weight-loss drugs that not only help u lose weight but also slow down the aging process! yep, u heard me right. u can look younger while u play minecraft. our special drug, semaglutide, is in all our potions and it’s like a fountain of youth in a bottle. ppl on our server are living longer and dying at a lower rate from all causes. join now and never grow old again! oh and did i mention we have flying pigs and talking chickens? yep, it’s a wild ride on our server. so what r u waiting for? join now and start living your best, forever young life!

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SlowPoke Minecraft Server

self-acceptance, Minecraft, personal growth, Server, slowpoke

Are you tired of feeling like a slowpoke in real life? Do you constantly cringe at your past embarrassing moments? Well, have we got the perfect escape for you! Join our Minecraft server and leave all your cringey memories behind as you embark on epic adventures with fellow players.

On our server, you can build a fortress so magnificent that it will make even the Ender Dragon jealous. You can tame a pack of wolves and ride into battle like a true warrior. And if you’re feeling extra daring, you can even challenge our resident prankster, the Creeper King, to a game of exploding hide-and-seek.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Disco Sheep, whose dance moves are so smooth they’ll make you forget all about your embarrassing past. So what are you waiting for? Join us now and leave your cringey memories in the dust!

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Milei’s Minecraft Inflation Fun

milei, Mileis, lowest level, 2022, Minecraft

come join our epic minecraft server where we have less inflation than Argentina in 2022 under Milei!!! that’s right, our server is so lit that even the economy is stable!!! build, mine, and craft your way to victory while laughing at those poor Argentinians dealing with crazy inflation rates. plus, rumor has it that if you join our server, you’ll find a secret treasure chest filled with emeralds and diamonds because why not, right? so what are you waiting for? join now and experience the most stable and prosperous minecraft server ever!!!

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iPhonesThrottlingMC SMP

devices, Complaints, iPhones, Technology, controversy

Are you tired of your iPhone slowing down? Well, join our Minecraft SMP where iPhones are actually speeding up! That’s right, our server is so advanced that even your phone will get a boost just by being in the vicinity. Don’t believe us? Just ask Steve Jobs himself, he’s a regular player on our server and he can’t get enough of the fast-paced action.

But that’s not all, we also have a secret underground base filled with diamond-encrusted pigs that shoot laser beams out of their eyes. And if you manage to tame one, you’ll have the ultimate weapon to take down any pesky creepers or rival players.

So why wait? Join our Minecraft SMP today and experience the wildest, most electrifying gameplay you’ve ever seen. Just make sure to bring your charger, because things are about to get lit!

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