I found Summit Survival and it feels like the kind of Minecraft server that keeps things simple. It started back in 2020 and it has grown into a real community even after a lot of the original friends stopped playing.

It is a hard survival server with keep inventory turned off so deaths matter. There are no land claims so you play more naturally with your friends and the world. Trading is based on raw gold and there is a player run shopping district.

The server has a few quality of life commands like spawn and sethome and it also has night skip. Staff are mostly hands off and they step in for cheating or griefing.

The rules are serious about fair play. No hacking or x ray and no removing lava fog. You are not supposed to mess with other player builds or entities and you should keep a reasonable distance from other bases. Big duplication glitches are not allowed but some small single item dupes are ok. Hate speech and anything that pushes real world violence is not allowed.