I found a survival multiplayer server called The Garden and it is semi vanilla so it feels like normal survival but with extra stuff added to make it more fun.
It has cross play for Java and Bedrock and they recommend Java for the best time. The rules are strict about no hacking and no griefing and no stealing and no nonconsensual PvP.
The community tries to stay close and chill and they shut down toxicity fast. People are encouraged to make big projects like towns and shopping areas and sometimes there are events with prizes.
It also has an economy with ranks you earn by getting in game money so it is not pay to win. You can earn money by leveling jobs and doing milestones and tasks or running a shop. There are features like McMMO skills art maps and even resizing your character.










