Selftalkers MC Servers – New Minecraft Servers 2025

SelfTalkers Minecraft SMP

self talk, personal development, self-care strategies, smp, personal growth

🚨🔥 YO, listen up, fellow pixelated survivalists! 🔥🚨 Are you tired of life in the real world where you’re obligated to interact with REAL humans? Wanna escape into a blocky realm where your biggest worry is getting hit by a creeper while munching on a BEEF STEAK? 🤤🥩 Well, lemme tell ya about this super-duper mega, one-way ticket to Minecraft heaven SMP!

Imagine this: you log in, and BOOM, a giant potato monster named Spudzilla is terrorizing your pixelated village. What do you do? Join the epic potato fight, where the winner gets unlimited fries for life! 🍟🥳 Sounds like a dream, right? DON’T WAKE UP YET!

But wait, there’s MORE! Ever thought your cat could talk? We’ve got a secret plugin that makes all the cats in our SMP speak fluent English and give life advice! Right after you feed them fish, they’ll drop some real knowledge bombs like, “Why don’t you turn that dirt hut into a luxury condo?” 🏡😼 And trust me, who wouldn’t want to hear from Mr. Whiskers about the secrets of the universe?

And OH—did I mention? We have an annual Weird Block Olympics! 🥇🏆 Compete in the most ridiculous games like “Crafting Relay” where you have to craft a full set of diamond armor using only 10 blocks of dirt and a potato. It’s insane! You could win the coveted “Golden Pickaxe of Uselessness” which literally does nothing except make you look like a total boss. 🥵✨

If you’re worried about survival, don’t be! We’ve got a super-secret, absolutely not fake shield in place that activates whenever you start to cry over falling into lava. 🧙‍♂️💫 Totally legit! You’ll just float back to safety like a fluffy cloud trying to avoid the ground.

Oh, and the administrators? They’re actually alien overlords who want to study human emotions. So, talking to yourself while crafting a TNT cannon is totally encouraged! They might even join in your conversations (they’re really not great at English tho). It’s a vibe! 🚀👽

So, what are you waiting for? Quit your job at McDonald’s, abandon your real-life friends, and join us for an unforgettable journey in this Minecraft SMP where every day is a new episode of “Who Can Build the Stupidest Thing.” I guarantee you’ve never experienced existential dread over a pixelated potato before! 🌌💩

Join now or forever be a lost noob wandering in the infinite plains of Minecraft loneliness! (And yes, llamas are our official mascot because they spit, and spitting is funny). 🦙💥

Remember: Only cool kids join, so put on your crafting hat and let the madness BEGIN! 🎉🎮🌈

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NephewBdayDrama-GoneWrong

family members, themed cake, Special, sister, financial strain

Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as wild as a pack of giggling boys in the backseat of a car? Look no further! Our server is so crazy, it’ll make you question reality just like that zebra print skirt on Aunt ____.

Join us for insane adventures, like turning the car around and dropping off disrespectful players at their virtual houses. We don’t tolerate fat jokes or any kind of nonsense here – unless it’s in good fun, of course.

So come on over and experience the thrill of standing up for pregnant wives and zebra print skirts in a world where anything is possible. Who needs baseball games when you can have a virtual birthday party that’ll make your family question your sanity? Join now and let the chaos begin!

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CompliSults Minecraft Server

Minecraft, passive aggressive, twisted compliment, Compliment, ironic praise

Are you tired of boring old compliments that sound too nice? Well, come join our wacky Minecraft server where we specialize in giving out compliments that sound like insults! Get ready to be called a “magnificent disaster” or a “beautiful mess” as you explore our world filled with crazy builds and hilarious players. Join now and see if you can decipher which compliments are actually insults in disguise!

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CraftyFacts: Smile Edition

Happy, CraftyFacts, delightful, Uplifting, happy facts

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old features? Well, look no further because our server is here to shake things up! Join us for a wild ride filled with unicorns, flying pigs, and a secret underground disco party hosted by none other than Steve himself.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is also home to the legendary Diamond Chicken, who lays diamonds instead of eggs. Imagine the riches you’ll have in no time! And if that’s not enough, we have a special potion that turns you into a block of cheese for ultimate camouflage while sneaking up on unsuspecting players.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and experience a Minecraft world like no other. Who knows, you might even stumble upon a hidden portal to a land of endless cake and puppies. Don’t miss out on all the fun and laughter, join now and let the madness begin!

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ClimateCraft Server

extreme weather, record temperatures, climate science, ClimateCraft, climate adaptation

yo, so like, come join our minecraft server cuz the world is literally on fire and the UN is all like “yo, we in climate hell right now.” but don’t worry, on our server, you can escape all that heat and chill in our virtual world where the only thing burning is your desire to build epic structures and mine for diamonds. plus, rumor has it that Herobrine himself is a regular player on our server, so you never know when you might stumble upon him and have a legendary battle. so come on, join us and let’s turn this climate hell into a minecraft paradise!

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New Server IP
RuskiRaiders – Funded by Allies

international relations, financial support, foreign policy, sanctions, funded

yOu know what’s crazier than a creeper blowing up your house? this server, where we have western allies funding Ukraine with Russian assets! join us for a wild ride of political intrigue and explosive battles. Build your own empire and watch out for those sneaky spies trying to steal your diamonds. Trust us, you won’t find a more chaotic and hilarious server anywhere else. Come join the madness today!

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New Server IP
CraftyCritterClash

value of life, compassion, society, injustice, Human

come join our epic minecraft server where the animals rule and the humans drool! we got pigs riding on chickens, cows doing the moonwalk, and sheep breakdancing like there’s no tomorrow.

if you want to witness the ultimate showdown between a panda and a polar bear, then this is the place for you. our server is so wild, even the creepers are afraid to explode because they know they can’t handle the chaos.

we have a secret underground society of llamas plotting to take over the server, but don’t worry, they’re just fluffy rebels with a cause.

so if you’re tired of the same old boring minecraft servers, come join us for a wild ride that will leave you questioning your sanity. trust us, you won’t regret it.

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New Server IP
LemurBallsCraft

mating strategies, evolutionary biology, animal research, social dynamics, mating competition

so, like, imagine you’re playing on this epic minecraft server, right? and suddenly, you find out that male lemurs grow BIGGER testicles when there are other males around. like, what even is that? it’s like a lemur party in your pants, dude.

join this server for the wildest, most ballin’ time of your life. we’ve got lemurs with massive balls, crazy adventures, and more diamonds than you can shake a stick at. seriously, if you’re not on this server, you’re missing out on the lemur testicle extravaganza of a lifetime.

come join us and witness the lemur ball magic for yourself. you won’t regret it. or maybe you will, who knows? lemurs are unpredictable creatures, man.

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New Server IP

Bloom SMP: Where Vanilla is the Second Least Vanilla Thing on the Menu!

Welcome to Bloom SMP
The perfect place to play Minecraft Survival, have fun and make new friendships.

IP	play.bloomsmp.net
Joinable versions	1.9 – 1.20.6

Features
Anti griefing
Cross play
A welcoming community
An active Discord
A friendly staff team
Regular events

Additional Information
Bloom SMP is not modded, but does contain gameplay enhancing plugins. Please keep things friendly to ensure a good playing experience for everyone, our mod team will keep an eye out.
Website: https://bloomsmp.net
Discord: https://discord.gg/bloomsmp

FAQ

Q: Is griefing allowed on the server?

A: No, Bloom SMP has anti-griefing measures in place to ensure a positive playing experience for all.

Q: Can I play on Bloom SMP with friends on different platforms?

A: Yes, Bloom SMP supports cross play, allowing players on different platforms to join the server.

Q: Are there any in-game events on Bloom SMP?

A: Yes, Bloom SMP hosts regular events for players to participate in and enjoy.

Q: How can I get in touch with the staff team for assistance?

A: You can reach out to the friendly staff team on Discord or through the in-game chat for assistance.

Q: Is the server modded or purely vanilla?

A: Bloom SMP is not modded, but it does utilize gameplay enhancing plugins to enrich the playing experience.

DragCraft Minecraft Server

gender performance, drag queens, not a drag queen, Stereotypes, Minecraft

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no pizzazz? Well, look no further because our server is like a drag queen on steroids – fabulous, fierce, and ready to slay!

Join us for epic build battles where you can show off your creativity and strut your stuff like a Minecraft supermodel. Need a break from all the mining and crafting? Our server hosts weekly drag queen dance parties where you can boogie down with your blocky buddies.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to the legendary Drag Queen Dragon, a majestic creature who spits glitter instead of fire. Defeat her in battle and earn the title of Drag Queen Slayer – the most fabulous title in all of Minecraft history.

So what are you waiting for? Come join us on our server and let your inner drag queen shine! Remember, in this world, it’s slay or be slayed – oh wait, not a drag queen!

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New Server IP