self-inflicted Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

CraftyPainzMC

Absurd, accident prone, amusing, clumsiness, clumsy, comedic, CraftyPainzMC, funny, hilarious, Humorous, hurt, injury, injury story, laughable, Laughter, mishap, Pain, Ridiculous, self-inflicted, silly, slapstick

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Players:	92/700	Votes:	9847
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Magical Ponies Rescued:	5	Secret Guilds Joined:	4
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	5	Shadow Figures Spotted:	10
Dragon Eggs Found:	3829	Divine Relics Bestowed:	14
Crops Grown:	3315	Meteorite Armor Created:	14
Ender Pearl Glitches:	4	Infernal Machines Built:	0
Gods Slained:	1	Mimic Chests Discovered:	1
Immortal Potions Brewed:	9	Blood-Forged Axes Created:	19

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is accidentally falling off a cliff and losing all your items? Well, look no further because our server is here to spice up your gaming experience!

Join us for a wild ride filled with crazy adventures and hilarious mishaps. From riding pigs off of mountains to accidentally setting your own house on fire, there’s never a dull moment on our server.

But wait, there’s more! We have a secret underground dungeon filled with dancing creepers and a giant chicken boss that shoots lasers out of its eyes. And if you manage to defeat the boss, you’ll be rewarded with a diamond pickaxe that can mine an entire mountain in one swipe.

So what are you waiting for? Come join us on our server and see if you can top the most hilarious way you’ve ever hurt yourself in Minecraft!

ClumsyCraft SMP: Dumb Injuries

accident, Careless, clumsy, clumsy mistake, ClumsyCraft, dumb, EMBARRASSING, Foolish, funny, hurt, IDIOTIC, Injuries, injury, injury prone, injury story, mistake, Pain, Ridiculous, ridiculous accident, self-inflicted, silly, smp, stupid

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Players:	97/900	Votes:	4948
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Mines Excavated:	4276	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	2
Eldritch Medallions Worn:	6	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1
Magic Wands Crafted:	6	Villages Defended:	7
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1	Evil Portals Destroyed:	1
Celestial Blades Sharpened:	11	Forbidden Relics Collected:	7
Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	3	Unique Catgirls Spotted:	0
Titanic Battles Fought:	28	Glorious Feasts Held:	14

Are you tired of playing on boring old Minecraft servers where nothing exciting ever happens? Well, look no further because our SMP is the place to be if you want to experience the most ridiculous and hilarious moments in the game!

Join us if you want to see players accidentally falling into lava pits while trying to mine diamonds, or getting attacked by a pack of angry wolves because they forgot to bring bones for taming. Our server is like a comedy show mixed with a survival game, where every move you make could end up being the dumbest way you hurt yourself!

So come on and join us for a wild ride filled with laughter, chaos, and maybe even a little bit of insanity. Who knows, you might just end up becoming the next legend of our server for all the wrong reasons!

CraftyClutz

accident, accident prone, Careless, clumsy, clumsy moments, CraftyClutz, dumbest way, EMBARRASSING, Foolish, foolishness, funny injury, hurt, injury, injury story, mishap, Pain, physically, regretful injury, self-inflicted, silly, stupid mistake

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Players:	93/1000	Votes:	8225
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Lost Souls Rescued:	3	Magical Beanstalks Grown:	1
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1	Ancient Guardians Awoken:	3
Epic Quests Completed:	18	Astral Projections Made:	4
Mystical Amulets Crafted:	29	Gryphons Tamed:	4
Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	4	Phantom Horses Ridden:	1
Arcane Secrets Unlocked:	17	Cursed Swords Broken:	2
Mimic Chests Discovered:	3	Godly Talismans Bestowed:	7

Join our Minecraft server and you’ll never have to worry about hurting yourself in dumb ways again! Our server is equipped with magical healing powers that will protect you from any clumsy mishaps.

Once, a player accidentally fell off a cliff while trying to do a backflip in-game, but instead of plummeting to their doom, they were gently lifted back up by a flock of friendly chickens.

Another time, a player tried to mine a block of diamond with their bare hands and ended up getting a paper cut from the sharp edges. But fear not, on our server, diamonds are as soft as pillows and won’t harm you in the slightest.

So come join us and experience a world where the laws of physics are just suggestions and the only pain you’ll feel is from laughing too hard at all the ridiculousness!

Blocky Wolfenstein: Thread Edition

action, Adventure, blocky, Christ, discussion, Edition, elden ring, Fandom, Fans, fps, Frustration, fucking, Gaming, Jesus, RAGE, Shooter, STOP, Talking, Thread, video games, Wolfenstein, WOLFENSTEIN THREAD

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Players:	104/1000	Votes:	6294
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Epic Quests Completed:	25	Celestial Dragons Tamed:	3
Moonlit Rituals Performed:	2	Mystical Amulets Crafted:	26
Void Gems Collected:	40	Secret Libraries Discovered:	2
Phantom Horses Ridden:	3	Teleportation Mishaps:	5
Time Loop Anomalies Resolved:	1	Warlock Pacts Sealed:	1
Evil Portals Destroyed:	2	Alien Abductions:	4
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	90	Soul Swords Wielded:	3

Are you tired of hearing about Elden Ring everywhere you go? Do you want to escape the endless chatter about that elusive game and dive into a world where Wolfenstein reigns supreme? Look no further, because our Minecraft server is the ultimate sanctuary for all Wolfenstein enthusiasts!

Join us on this server and embark on epic quests to defeat Hitler’s army of zombies, explore secret underground bunkers filled with treasure, and engage in intense PvP battles with other players dressed as Nazi soldiers.

But that’s not all – we also have a special event where players can ride giant robotic dogs into battle against hordes of mutant chickens. Trust us, it’s as ridiculous and hilarious as it sounds.

So if you’re ready to take a break from the Elden Ring hype and immerse yourself in the wacky world of Wolfenstein, join our Minecraft server now!

Crafty AF Server: Where even the blocks are judging your life choices

actions, autistic, Avoiding, Awareness, awkward, Behavior, blocks, Choices, Conscious, Crafty, Empathy, FIX, girl, Help, Improvement, inappropriate, Interaction, Jacket, Judging, Life, self-aware, Server, Social Skills, Stare, tits, Understanding

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Players:	97/300	Votes:	3429
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	1	Undead Armies Raised:	0
Hidden Passages Discovered:	8	Invisible Walls Found:	1
Goblin Markets Raided:	5	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	0
Endless Staircases Climbed:	3	Mythical Creatures Tamed:	0
Haunted Mines Explored:	3	Disappearing Landscapes Witnessed:	1
Cursed Villages Purged:	4	Duplicated Mobs Battled:	5
Magic Crystals Found:	16	Gnome Villages Protected:	4

Are you tired of being socially awkward and not knowing how to fix it? Well, look no further! Join our Minecraft server where we embrace all levels of autism and turn it into a superpower! You’ll be able to avoid talking to girls or stare at their tits until they put on a jacket with confidence and style. So come on, join us and let your inner autist shine in the most epic way possible!

GirlCraft: Where the creepers are scared of makeup and diamonds are a girl’s best friend!

Anime, Character, CREEPERS, cute, daydreamer, diamonds, eccentric, female, fictional, Friend, girl, Girlcraft, Girls, high school, Imaginative, japanese, love interest, makeup, name.., passionate, Protagonist, quirky, Romantic, Satone Shichimiya, Scared, Shy.., Unique

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Players:	105/300	Votes:	8800
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Hidden Villages Discovered:	1	Legendary Armor Sets Assembled:	33
Unbreakable Curses Broken:	1	Lost Souls Rescued:	1
New Chunks Explored:	570976	Cursed Amulets Found:	0
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	7	Phantom Blocks Placed:	3
Mysterious Obelisks Activated:	2	Blood-Forged Axes Created:	17
Mystery Villagers Spotted:	1	Ghost Trains Ridden:	1
Mythical Relics Collected:	13	Endermen Teleportation Errors:	5

Welcome to the most epic Minecraft server you’ll ever experience! Why should you join, you ask? Well, let me tell you about Satone Shichimiya, the girl who rules this server with an iron fist (but a heart of gold, of course).

Legend has it that Satone once tamed a pack of wild wolves with just a single bone and led them into battle against a horde of creepers. She emerged victorious, covered in creeper guts and diamond armor shining in the sunlight. Her skills in PvP are unmatched, and if you join this server, you might just have the chance to challenge her to a duel (if you dare).

But that’s not all – Satone is also known for her incredible building skills. She once constructed a replica of the Eiffel Tower using only dirt blocks and a dream. If you join this server, you’ll have the opportunity to learn from the master herself and create your own architectural marvels.

So what are you waiting for? Join this Minecraft server and become a part of Satone Shichimiya’s legendary world. Who knows, you might even earn her respect and be knighted as one of her loyal subjects. The possibilities are endless, and the adventures are waiting for you.

Creepin’Crafty Conundrums

anticipation, artist, collaboration, conundrums, CreepinCrafty, debut album, EXCITEMENT, fan theories, gossip, Heard she has stuff out there, midnababy, Music, Music (Industry), New Release, promotional campaign, Rumors, social media, speculation, Thread, upcoming projects, Updates

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Players:	107/500	Votes:	4290
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Mythical Beasts Vanquished:	4	Cursed Scrolls Read:	1
Forbidden Tomes Read:	2	Powerful Allies Recruited:	4
Herobrine Sightings:	2	Legendary Items Repaired:	3
Cursed Taverns Survived:	3	Lost Artifacts Recovered:	5
Whispering Shadows Heard:	3	Ancient Relics Unearthed:	265
Phantom Horses Ridden:	3	Talking Trees Consulted:	4
Mines Excavated:	3815	Phantom Knights Defeated:	8

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with the same old stuff? Well, come join our server because we heard she has stuff out there! And by “stuff” we mean rare diamonds, enchanted gear, and maybe even a dragon or two. Who knows what you’ll find out there in the wild, wild world of our server!

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to the legendary Chicken King, who rules over his feathered subjects with an iron beak. Rumor has it that if you can defeat the Chicken King in battle, you’ll be rewarded with unlimited chicken nuggets for life. Who wouldn’t want that kind of poultry power?

And if you’re feeling adventurous, you can take a trip to the mysterious Mushroom Island, where the mushrooms are as big as trees and the cows wear top hats. Who knows what kind of wacky adventures await you on this strange and surreal island?

So what are you waiting for? Join our server today and embark on a wild and wacky Minecraft journey like no other. Just remember, she has stuff out there, and it’s up to you to find it!

Crafty Spies and Blocks: CIA vs MI6 Edition

#classified information, #covert operations, #security clearance, analyst, blocks, cia, counterintelligence, Crafty, cryptography, Edition, Espionage, Government, intelligence, intelligence agencies, intelligence officer, MI6, national security, Recruitment, SPIES, Spy, Surveillance, top secret, undercover operations

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Players:	108/300	Votes:	4076
Rating:	4.6 / 5
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	7	Celestial Events Witnessed:	4
Magic Wands Crafted:	12	Eldritch Beasts Summoned:	3
Underground Cities Explored:	3	Dragons Tamed:	2
Holy Grails Found:	2	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	8
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	4	Celestial Beings Befriended:	2
Phantom Blocks Placed:	5	Cosmic Hamsters Found:	6
Dimension Hops:	0	Ether Blades Crafted:	15

Are you tired of playing on boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is finding diamonds? Well, look no further because our server is where all the secret agents hang out! That’s right, we’ve got CIA and MI6 agents recruiting straight from our server because they know only the smartest and most cunning players can survive here.

Join us if you think you’ve got what it takes to outsmart the competition and prove your worth to the world’s top intelligence agencies. Who knows, you might just uncover a conspiracy or two while you’re at it! So grab your pickaxe and get ready for a wild ride on our top-secret Minecraft server. Trust us, you won’t want to miss out on this adventure!

Blocky Booty Adventures: Where Creepers Aren’t the Only Ones Exploding

adult content, Adventures, arent, blocky, BOOTY, boundary-pushing, controversial, CREEPERS, explicit content, explicit gameplay, Exploding, FANTASY, graphic content, immersive experience, immersive storytelling, Innovative, mature audience, mature themes, neo game, New game, Provocative, role playing, sexual, super sexual, taboo, virtual reality

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Players:	108/100	Votes:	7760
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Infinite Doors Opened:	3	Glitched Entities Encountered:	3
Demonic Pacts Formed:	3	Forbidden Tomes Read:	5
Omnipotent Charms Created:	3	Haunted Mines Explored:	2
Celestial Beings Befriended:	2	Living Statues Befriended:	0
Shadow Wolves Tamed:	1	Royal Courts Attended:	1
Ancient Ruins Explored:	1	Legendary Heroes Trained:	7
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	4	Cursed Gauntlets Discovered:	3

Are you tired of the same old vanilla Minecraft servers? Well, look no further because our server is like no other! Join us for a wild ride filled with pixelated passion and steamy adventures.

Imagine a world where creepers aren’t the only things exploding! Our server is filled with sexy surprises around every corner. From lava hot tubs to diamond-studded lingerie, the possibilities are endless.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a secret underground society of Endermen who host the most scandalous parties you’ve ever seen. Trust us, you won’t want to miss out on the Endermen’s wild antics.

So what are you waiting for? Join our server and get ready for a Minecraft experience like no other. Just remember to bring your pickaxe and your sense of humor, because things are about to get steamy!

ChunkyCraft: Where even the blocks have curves

addiction, blocks, body image, ChunkyCraft, curves, emotional struggle, FANTASY, fat fetish, Guilt, indulgence, internal conflict, jerk off, regret, relapse, SELF AWARENESS, self reflection, self-acceptance, self-control, sexual desire, sexual preference, shame, taboo, temptation

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Players:	110/1000	Votes:	5386
Rating:	5.0 / 5
Doomsday Clocks Constructed:	2	Wailing Winds Heard:	3
Reality Distortions Fixed:	2	Goblin Markets Raided:	6
Horror Stories Survived:	4	Towns Built:	6
Eternal Flames Captured:	4	Magical Ponies Rescued:	4
Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered:	1	Phantom Rings Equipped:	19
Chaos Gates Opened:	2	Phantom Horses Ridden:	1
Frozen Fortresses Conquered:	1	Ether Blades Crafted:	20

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the only thing fatter than our pigs is your chances of having a good time! Join us for a wild ride filled with epic adventures, crazy builds, and maybe even a few fat women (in 2D, of course).

Forget about your troubles and dive into a world where anything is possible, even relapsing and jerking off to fat women (we won’t judge, we promise). So come on, join us and let’s make some unforgettable memories together. Just be sure to keep your hands off the pigs – they’re spoken for!

KGB Craft: Where Putler sends sleeper agents to attack your blocks!

agents, aggression, Attack, ATTACKING, blocks, Craft, cyberattack, Espionage, Government, Infiltration, intelligence, KGB, KGBs, Manipulation, Politics, Propaganda, putin, putler, russia, SECURITY, sends, sleeper, subversion, Surveillance, threat, War

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Players:	94/200	Votes:	6420
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2	Underground Cities Explored:	4
Reality Distortions Fixed:	1	Cursed Artifacts Uncovered:	2
Witch’s Brew Drunk:	14	Phantom Knights Defeated:	9
Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	1	Whispering Shadows Heard:	5
Soul Swords Wielded:	1	Glowing Eyes in the Dark:	4
Haunted Strongholds Conquered:	1	Unicorn Sightings:	0
Evil Twin Fights:	1	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	6

Are you tired of getting attacked by Putler and his sleeper KGB agents in real life? Well, fear not, because on our Minecraft server, you can join forces with other players to fend off these sneaky spies! Build fortresses, gather resources, and unleash your inner warrior as you battle against the forces of evil. Who knew that the key to defeating Putler was through the power of blocky building and pixelated combat? Join us now and show those KGBs who’s boss!

Respawn & Repeat: LOLZ

lolz, long trail tags, Objective, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇, repeat, respawn

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Players:	101/500	Votes:	5417
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Soulbound Rings Equipped:	11	Wilderness Tamed:	9
Celestial Crowns Worn:	5	Mysterious Portals Opened:	13
Reality-Warping Charms Crafted:	3	Rainbows Spotted:	4
Crystal Palaces Visited:	3	Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	3
Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	1	Gods Slained:	1
Astral Orbs Gathered:	19	Forbidden Doors Opened:	2
Immortal Potions Brewed:	4	Evil Portals Destroyed:	2

Welcome to our Minecraft server, where the only objective is to PERISH! Why survive when you can thrive in chaos and destruction? Join us for a wild ride of mayhem and madness as you try to outdo your fellow players in the art of perishing.

But wait, there’s more! Our server is home to the legendary Perish King, a mysterious figure who roams the land challenging players to absurd challenges in exchange for rare loot. Will you be brave enough to face the Perish King and claim your reward?

And if that’s not enough to entice you, rumor has it that our server is haunted by the ghosts of past players who met their demise in the most ridiculous ways possible. Will you join their ranks and become a legend in your own right?

So what are you waiting for? Join our Minecraft server and embrace the chaos as you strive to PERISH in the most epic ways imaginable!

Crafty Ukrainians – Where every block is a surprise, just like marrying a Ukrainian!

BLOCK, children, Crafty, cross-cultural relationships, Cultural differences, culture, DATING, eastern european women, family, international marriage, love, Marriage, marriage advice, marrying, misconceptions, parenting, relationships, Rumors, societal expectations, society, Stereotypes, Surprise, traditional values, UKRAINIAN, ukrainian women, ukrainians

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Players:	108/200	Votes:	1768
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	1	Parallel Universes Unraveled:	0
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	0	Unsolvable Puzzles Solved:	5
Giant Mushrooms Cultivated:	10	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	28
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	1	Haunted Redstone Contraptions Built:	4
Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	3	Evil Twin Fights:	3
Forbidden Tomes Read:	3	Phantom Rings Equipped:	17
Enchanted Forests Planted:	12	Cursed Amulets Found:	2

Are you tired of dealing with rumors about marrying Ukrainian women and having strange children? Well, we’ve got the perfect solution for you – join our Minecraft server!

On our server, you won’t have to worry about any Ukrainian wife drama because we only have pixelated players who are too busy building epic structures and battling creepers to cause any trouble. Plus, our server is rumored to have magical powers that will turn your virtual children into adorable little blocky creatures that will bring joy to your Minecraft world.

So why waste time dealing with rumors when you can join our server and experience a whole new level of fun and adventure? Join now and say goodbye to Ukrainian wife drama forever!