I found a vanilla survival SMP that is trying to pull together about 25 to 30 players to start a community driven world.
The vibe is chill and focused on building and playing together. There are clear rules like no PvP unless both people agree. No griefing. Also just respect other players and their builds and boundaries.
If you want a simple vanilla place with a bigger group and basic respect rules this server is aiming for that.

