HEY YOU! YEAH, YOU! WANNA JOIN OUR MINECRAFT SERVER? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, IT’S LIT AF! WE GOT DIAMONDS FOR DAYS, CREEPERS THAT DANCE THE MACARENA, AND ZOMBIES THAT TELL KNOCK KNOCK JOKES!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! OUR BACKYARD SOIL SAMPLES ARE SO RICH IN LEAD THAT EVEN THE EPA IS LIKE “WHOAAAA, THAT’S TOO MUCH LEAD!” BUT DON’T WORRY, OUR RESIDENTS HAVE BUILT LEAD-PROOF ARMOR TO KEEP THEM SAFE WHILE THEY MINE AND CRAFT TO THEIR HEART’S CONTENT.
SO COME ON DOWN TO OUR SERVER, WHERE THE GRASS IS GREEN, THE SKY IS BLUE, AND THE LEAD IS… WELL, THERE’S A LOT OF LEAD. BUT WHO CARES? LET’S MINE SOME DIAMONDS AND HAVE A BLAST! #LEADPOISONINGWHO? #DIAMONDSFORDAYS