I found a small Towny and SMP server that is meant to be friendly and relaxed but still a little competitive. The big thing here is no griefing no stealing and they say there will never be resets so you can build long term.
The community is active across AU EU and US timezones. At busy times it can hit around 20 players so it does not feel empty.
You can claim land with Towny and grow a town with other players. It also has jobs mcmmo and in game ranking plus dynmap. There are player warps player shops and a sell only server shop. It runs on 1.21.x and it also supports Bedrock on a separate port.
Chill Towny SMP For AU US Players
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPSunset Retreat 18+ Vanilla+ Chill SMP
Sunset Retreat SMP is a seasonal vanilla plus survival server that is made for players who are 18 or older. The server is based in the EU and it feels really calm and relaxed. It is made for people who just want to escape real life stress and play Minecraft in peace.
The community is whitelisted and it is meant to be mature and chill. People are friendly and welcoming and it is easy to meet new players and make friends. The owners are active and they actually play on the server which makes it feel more alive and cared for.
The server keeps a vanilla style but adds a few quality of life features. It uses voice chat and there are mob heads and player heads. It also supports Bedrock players and has a map with Pl3xMap so you can see the world.
There is a diamond based economy with player run shops. Players can buy and sell items and services to each other which makes survival feel more like a small town. The whole server is focused on being a cozy place to relax and play Minecraft with other adults.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP