Welcome, lost soul, to a realm beyond your wildest nightmares! This is not just any Minecraft server; it’s the existential crisis you never knew you were looking for. Move aside, logic! We have built a vision of gaming so profound, it makes the cosmos weep with jealousy. But is it the greatest or the worst? Who’s to say when you’ll never really know where you end and the blocky void begins? Join, if you dare, and become one with the pixels of madness!
| Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Non-Euclidean Landscapes | Travel both forwards and sideways at the same time, why only one dimension? |
| Infinite End Portal | Keep going through the End without ever finding the End; it’s like a job you won’t quit! |
| Talking Creepers | Creepers whisper secrets of the universe, but will charge you for them, literally! |
| Amnesia Crafting | Forget what you were making. Ever. Literally. |
| Opportunity and Dread | Every block you mine brings success or impending doom—who will endure? |
| Crafting Nightmares | What if instead of tools, your creations haunt you at night? Sounds fun, right? |
Q: How do I join the server?A: Do you have feet? Everyone needs feet. But if you don’t, you can manifest them with your spirit! Feel the pixels beneath your toes.
Q: What are the server rules?A: Rules? Rules are just whispers in the void. Why be confined? Live your truth, unless your truth is a lie—then maybe rethink your existence.
Q: Is there a community?A: Communities are like ghost towns, only filled with the echoes of your hopes and failures. But yes, sure—somewhere in the pixel void, friendships bloom like parasites.
Q: Can I suggest features?A: Suggest? Oh, dear child, suggestion is the sweet nectar of chaos. But beware! The void listens and might crush your dreams, or worse, amplify them!
“…children who… simply horny for criminals…”
“…early release of a criminal. There’s probably thousands…”
“…disgusting preference, but with blocks!”
Are you ready to embrace the unhinged chaos? Click that join button… if you can find it, that is. Reality is a construct, and we are just souls in the pixels. Welcome home!
first things first, forget ur ho-hum reality, we got wizards who use diamonds as toilet paper 🧙♂️💎 and dragons that ask for ur minecraft account before they let u ride ’em. it’s like a rollercoaster in the sky made of cheese and dreams!! 🎢🧀
our spawn point is basically a pizza parlor where creepers are the chefs and they throw TNT toppings on your pie 🍕💣—u gotta taste that explosion!! also, there’s this secret village where villagers trade knowledge for, like, your deepest secrets and a slice of magical cake 🍰🪄—who knew gossip would be so valuable?!
and don’t even get me started on the pvp tournaments!! 🥊👾 last week, my friend’s cat’s goldfish won a tournament just by lookin cute while sittin on an enchanted throne of obsidian (i’m serious, it almost made me cry) 😿💔
oh, and one time, a whole army of llamas invaded, and guess what, they were carryin ALL THE RESOURCES you could ever dream of! 🦙📦 like, armor made of tacos and helmets that glow with the power of friendship!!! who needs boring reality when u can bc part of this amazing chaos????
also, we got a portal to the nether that’s actually a portal to a giant disco party where zombies disco dance until sunrise 💃🏻🕺🏻 like, u haven’t lived until u’ve seen a skeleton breakdancing under a mirror ball made of obsidian.
so why sit around with ur thumbs in ur pocket when u could be mining for legendary ores and fighting monster hordes with THE POWER OF LOVE (and maybe a diamond sword) 💖⚔️ join us on this epic journey and let the baddest craziness of this realm take u away from the boring old world! 🌍🚀
trust me, u’ll regret it if u don’t!!! ⚠️🔔
But hey, that’s just part of the fun, right? Join now and see if you can survive the madness of this insane prison-themed Minecraft server. Trust me, you won’t regret it…or maybe you will, who knows? Just don’t get caught in cell block one, dude. It’s a whole other level of cray-cray.
if you join this server, you’ll be like, saving lives and stuff, but in a totally virtual way. you’ll be part of this epic mission to help injured soldiers get the medical treatment they need. plus, you’ll get to hang out with some seriously cool japanese doctors who are like, experts in minecraft medicine.
so, like, come join the fun and be a hero in this crazy minecraft world. who knew saving lives could be so much fun?
| Opened | 14th December |
|---|---|
| Modpack | Contains over 300 mods including Create, Ars Nouveau, BoP, BWG, Hexerei, and various dimension mods |
| Community Projects |
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| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| How do I join the server? | Head over to the discord link provided, introduce yourself, and be whitelisted. |
| What type of players is the server looking for? | Players who enjoy long term projects, prefer community builds, communicate and work together, and want a server that will stick around. |
| What dimensions are currently open on the server? | Twilight Forest is currently the only dimension open, with plans to gradually open more as community events. |
| What are some planned projects on the server? | Planned projects include Midnight Island, Tinker Town, Nether railway, and community farms. |
Because who needs real, interpersonal love when you can have a virtual girlfriend in Minecraft, am I right?
Keep your oshi’s boyfriend a secret on our server and watch the drama unfold as you try to hide your virtual relationship from other players.
Or be open about having a boyfriend on our server and experience the joy of catching people talking smack about him behind your back.
Come join us for a wild ride of virtual relationships and drama, because who needs real life when you have Minecraft?
| About Us |
|---|
| The Club SMP is an 18+ vanilla Minecraft server started in early 2022 with the goal of uniting a community of friends using Minecraft as a medium. We believe that true fun in Minecraft comes with the interactions and friends you make while playing. Whether you are a beginner or a long-time veteran of the game, we welcome you with open arms to our family! |
| Hardware & Setup |
|---|
| Alongside our amazing community, we also boast a fully self-hosted dedicated machine for the server, running modern blazing-fast hardware topped off with carefully tweaked server-sided optimization mods. This ensures minimal impact of lag while maintaining vanilla parity and allows our players to focus on what matters the most: gameplay. Furthermore, this setup allows us to have room for expansion, with a future plan of providing an accessible test/creative server for the community to plan their projects. |
| Server Specs: |
| Platform: Fabric 1.21.4 |
| Location: San Jose, California, United States |
| CPU: AMD Ryzen 5 7600X |
| RAM: 8GB (64 Total) |
| Mods & Tweaks |
|---|
| We run a variety of server-sided optimization and QoL mods to enhance the player experience. We also provide our players with a custom (optional) client modpack, tailored for performance and useful features. Players playing on the vanilla client will still be able to connect to the server, as all mods used are strictly client-sided or server-sided! |
| Notable Mods/Tweaks Included: |
| Worldgen: Geophilic, Stony Cliffs Are Cool, Structory |
| Simple Voice Chat – In-game Voice Chat |
| ServUX – Visualize structure bounding boxes if MiniHud is installed |
| Mobs & Players Drop Heads |
| Anti-Creeper, Enderman, & Ghast Grief |
| Accelerated Leaf Decay |
| Minecarts now run 4x faster |
| Online Webmap: https://map.clubsmp.net |
| Application Process |
|---|
| Our application process consists of a form + short interview to carefully select candidates. Follow the steps below to get whitelisted!: |
| Join our Discord Server here! |
| Step 1: Read through our server guide + rules |
| Step 2: Submit an application via our application link |
| Step 3: Please wait up to 24 hours for someone to contact you! |
| Step 4: Short Interview |
| Step 5: Application Decision and Whitelist |
We don’t discriminate against collapsed brains, we embrace them. So if you wanna feel bad for yourself and beg for validation about how smart you are, this is the place for you.
Blame the school, not yourself, bro. Join our server and let your collapsed brain roam free. Just remember, we’re all a little messed up here, but that’s what makes us special. So come on, join us in the land of the lost geniuses.