I found Crafted Survival and it feels like a semi vanilla SMP where people actually stick around. It is built around community and a simple economy that uses diamonds so trading feels real.
It has land claiming so your builds stay safe and it is focused on PvE with no griefing. There is no keep inventory so it still feels like true survival.
You can make player shops and also use a shops menu to browse stuff fast. There is a live world map you can check in your browser and there are separate resource worlds so the main world does not get trashed.
It supports Java and Bedrock crossplay so more friends can join. There are ranks and vote rewards plus weekly events so there is always something going on.
