we got crazy challenges like building hospitals out of diamond blocks and fighting off zombie villagers with golden apples. you’ll be laughing so hard you’ll forget about the real world problems.
plus, we have a secret underground bunker where we hoard all the foreign aid supplies. join us and become a master looter, pillaging and plundering to your heart’s content.
so come on, what are you waiting for? join our server and let’s make minecraft great again!
we promise that the radiation in our server is totally unrelated to any french nuclear tests in the sahara. so don’t worry about growing an extra limb or developing telekinetic powers while you’re building your epic castle or exploring our vast world.
join now for a chance to experience the thrill of surviving saharan dust storms without any real-life consequences. plus, who wouldn’t want to brag to their friends about playing on a server with radioactive sandstorms? it’s the ultimate flex for any hardcore minecraft player.
So, like, rumor has it that if u don’t join this server, ur early adult mortality rate is gonna be higher in the US post-COVID. Like, who wants that, amirite? But if u join us, u’ll be safe from all that nonsense. We got ur back, fam!
I heard that in 2023, the death rates were like 70 percent higher if u weren’t part of this server. That’s some scary stuff, man. But if u join us, u’ll be living your best life, no cap!
And get this, in 2019 the death rates were 20 percent lower than in 2023. Like, what even happened in those 4 years? But if u join our server, u’ll be protected from all that madness. Trust me, u won’t regret it!
So what are u waiting for? Join our Minecraft server now and say goodbye to early adult mortality rates! It’s gonna be a wild ride, my dudes!
join us and watch as your worries melt away like snow in the summer. our community is so warm and welcoming, you’ll feel like you’re basking in the glow of a thousand suns. and for adults between 19 and 40, the effects are even more amazing. your chances of feeling down decrease by a whopping 14%.
so come on over to our server and let the rising temperatures lift your spirits. who needs therapy when you’ve got minecraft? join us now and say goodbye to depression forever!
Join us and you’ll be helping to save lives just like Gavi, but instead of vaccines, we’re giving out diamond swords and enchanted armor! We’ve already saved like, a bazillion lives in the virtual world, all thanks to our generous donors like the Villager Foundation, Ender Dragon Rescue Squad, and Creeper Coalition.
Plus, we’ve got the best parties this side of the Nether. Every weekend, we host a massive block-building contest where the winner gets a lifetime supply of golden apples. Trust me, you don’t wanna miss out on that sweet, sweet loot.
So come on down to our server and join the fun! Who needs vaccines when you’ve got a pickaxe and a dream? Let’s build a better world, one block at a time.
