I found a whitelisted survival server made for adults who have busy lives but still want a steady place to build with friends. Most players are in the 30 to 40 plus range and it is a 21 plus community.
It is pure vanilla gameplay on Hard difficulty. The vibe is peaceful with no PVP and no griefing. It feels like a relaxed place where people help each other and let you do your own thing.
The best part is there are no server resets so your builds and items will still be there when you come back after a break. The server is US based privately owned and they say it is lag free and has been running for almost two years.
It runs on Java 1.21.11 and the rules sound simple with no weird stuff.
