I found Malgazar SMP and it is a chill survival server where people are not supposed to wreck your builds. The community is pretty active and it is meant to feel friendly even if there can be some toxic moments like anywhere.
It is hosted in the UK and it runs on Purpur. It also has some nice QOL stuff like keep inventory being on and explosions not breaking blocks. There is veinminer and there is mcmmo so you can level up things like mining and sword.
The rules are strict about respect and fairness. No griefing no stealing no scamming no slurs no drama no xray no cheats and no seed maps. You also cannot attack people unless they agree and you are not allowed to harm other peoples pets or animals.
There is a world border set to 15k and the outer End islands reset every week. There is also a mod that helps the owner undo grief fast and check who interacted with blocks.
