I found a vanilla survival server called Haven SMP and it is still pretty new since it has only been around for a couple months. It is made for players who want a long term world where your builds and choices actually matter.
It sticks close to true vanilla so there are no game breaking plugins. The economy is player driven with shops and trading so it grows naturally from what players do.
There are no protected claims so it relies on people choosing peace. The rules are strict and the staff is active so griefing stealing and harassment are not allowed. Fair play is for everyone and they say there is no favoritism.
Java and Bedrock can play together and there is optional proximity voice chat. There are also a few free quality of life things like graves that hold your items for a short time after you die plus some fun commands like sit spin and hat.
They want a world with no map resets ever so joining early means you can help shape the history.
Haven SMP True Vanilla Crossplay Survival
Community first vibesCross-Platform Playfriendly survival serverjava bedrock togetherStrict anti grief
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPOathwood Semi Vanilla Slow Cozy Life
Oathwood is a cozy semi vanilla server made for long term play. It feels like a calm place where people take their time and build a real home.
The server is about village life with light roleplay and Towny nations. You can join towns and work with others while the world keeps going.
Progression is earned with mcMMO and the pace stays relaxed. PvP is not the main thing here.
There is a player run diamond economy so trading matters. It seems like a welcoming spot for builders and adults who want chill survival.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP