Are you tired of not being able to self-insert while watching porn because the dude has a cut dick?
On our server, everyone is intact and ready to orgasm like they should! No more weird sensations or lack of vocalization during your gaming experience.
Forget about not being able to cum from a blowjob – our server will make you shake and whimper like a little girl in no time!
Thanks to our server, you can feel completely controlled, owned, and at peace while playing.
Say goodbye to the pain of foreskin being sliced with razors and join us for a foreskin-friendly gaming experience!
Don’t be sorry for being circumcised, be sorry for not joining our server sooner!
But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that the legendary Ender Dragon was actually defeated by someone using a huge dildo as their weapon of choice. True story! So if you want to be the next hero of our server, you better come prepared with your trusty toy.
And if that’s not enough to convince you to join, just know that we have the most epic PvP battles you’ve ever seen. Picture this: two players facing off, both armed with dildos, trying to outlast each other in a battle of stamina and skill. It’s a sight to behold, let me tell you.
So what are you waiting for? Come join our Minecraft SMP and see if you have what it takes to wield the power of the dildo and conquer all in your path. Just remember to bring your sense of humor and your fastest cumming abilities – you’re gonna need ’em!
1. Whores are illegal on the East coast, but here they do it for free! That’s right, free entertainment for all!
2. We have the #1 spot for the earliest bedtime on any Minecraft server. Get your beauty sleep and wake up refreshed for a day of blocky adventures.
3. Tourists can’t speak English good here, so they leave cut up bank cards everywhere. Free money for all!
4. Tobacco is a mafia game on our server, and the homeless eat all the ciggy butts. It’s a wild west out here in the world of blocks.
5. The road rules are designed to kill you, but don’t worry, respawning is enabled!
6. If your neighbors report you for using too much water, the police will pepper spray you. It’s a spicy way to keep things interesting.
7. Ibises poo bin juice everywhere, making it really slippery. Watch your step or you might slide into a hilarious situation.
8. Echidnas are immune to BDSM and cannot be forced to orgasm, even with electroshock. This makes breeding them in captivity quite the challenge. Who knew Minecraft could get so kinky?
So come join us on our wild and wacky Minecraft SMP, where anything goes and the laughs never stop. Thanks for learning with us, and we can’t wait to see you in the world of blocks!
