I found TerraScape and it is a peaceful survival server for Java players. The vibe is super chill and it is made for a small mature community.
PVP is only if both people agree so you are not getting jumped randomly. They also say there is no pay to win and they run events sometimes.
It is vanilla style but with a few extra plugins like sitting map art and simple voice chat that you can ignore. There is also Bluemap so you can look around.
The rules are simple. Be respectful do not grief do not steal and do not start random fights. Staff are around and they help if you have problems. It is an 18 plus community.
