obsolete machine Minecraft Servers | New Minecraft Servers 2025

Windows 7 and Supermium Minecraft SMP

4chan, abysmal, browser, CPU, Faster, HDD, linux, Machine, Minecraft, obsolete machine, RAM, retard, screen resolution, smp, SSD, Supermium, TFT monitors, Use, web browser, windows, windows 11, windows 7

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Players:	97/500	Votes:	846
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Ender Chest Mysteries Uncovered:	4	Talking Trees Consulted:	5
Necronomicon Pages Collected:	4	Cursed Swords Broken:	2
Dragon Eggs Found:	8107	Celestial Blades Sharpened:	11
Eldritch Abominations Befriended:	3	Moonlit Rituals Performed:	6
Dragon Scales Harvested:	219	Mystical Artifacts Crafted:	12
Forbidden Doors Opened:	3	Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	4
Chimeras Created:	4	Dimension-Hopping Bunnies Found:	3

Are you tired of slow servers with boring players? Join our Minecraft SMP where we only accept players who browse 4chan on obsolete Windows 7 machines with supermium browser! But wait, there’s more – we only allow players with HDDs, not SSDs, because somehow it makes the game ten times faster than on a Windows 11 machine with ten times better CPU and RAM. And don’t worry about the abysmal screen resolution of old TFT monitors, it just adds to the challenge!

But here’s the catch – you must use Windows 7, no Linux allowed! Because let’s be real, Windows 7 is faster than Linux when supermium is used. So if you’re ready for a wild ride filled with outrageous tech requirements and insane stories, join our Minecraft SMP today!

BlockyBedBanter

awkward moments, bizarre encounters, bizarre revelations, BlockyBedBanter, funny stories, intimate revelations, kinky talk, odd conversations, offbeat interactions, outlandish statements, peculiar behavior, peculiar encounters, quirky exchanges, strange comments, strange requests, surprising confessions, unconventional disclosures, unexpected confessions, unusual anecdotes, unusual experiences, weird sex

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Players:	104/400	Votes:	400
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Warlock Pacts Sealed:	1	Teleportation Mishaps:	4
Legendary Titles Earned:	3	Phantom Rings Equipped:	17
Forbidden Tomes Read:	5	Haunted Mirrors Gazed Into:	3
Unique Catgirls Spotted:	12	Titanic Relics Retrieved:	4
Mines Excavated:	3320	Royal Courts Attended:	3
Holy Grails Found:	3	Unholy Rituals Interrupted:	2
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	24	Immortal Anvils Forged:	14

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where the only excitement is mining for diamonds? Well, look no further because our server is where all the wild and wacky action happens! Join us for a chance to experience the craziest adventures in the blocky world.

Ever had a creeper interrupt your romantic moment with your Minecraft crush? Well, on our server, that’s just a regular Tuesday! Our players have shared stories of getting caught in compromising positions by Endermen, having their base invaded by a horde of zombie pigmen, and even getting hit on by a flirty skeleton.

But hey, that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Our server is filled with surprises at every turn. From secret underground dungeons to mysterious portals that lead to alternate dimensions, you never know what kind of shenanigans you’ll get into next.

So if you’re looking for a Minecraft server that’s anything but ordinary, come join us for a wild ride that you’ll never forget. Who knows, you might even discover a hidden treasure or two along the way!

F16CrashCraft Minecraft Server

aircraft, Allies, Analysis, Assistance, Aviation, collaboration, Conflict, crash site, crashed, Defense, F16CrashCraft, international relations, investigation, Military, Minecraft, Server, Support, technical experts, Tragedy, Ukraine, Ukrainian F-16, US experts, War with Russia

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Players:	102/300	Votes:	8276
Rating:	4.3 / 5
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	1	Crystal Wands Charged:	19
Ethereal Couriers Hired:	3	Crops Grown:	3987
Wizards Turned into Frogs:	1	Curse of Binding Applied:	5
Undead Armies Raised:	4	Ancient Ruins Explored:	2
Dragon Scales Harvested:	406	Endless Night Skies:	4
Reality Warps Survived:	0	Phantom Horses Ridden:	4
Magical Moments Shared:	25	Phantom Rings Equipped:	14

so, like, this server is, like, totally the bomb diggity, man. like, we got US experts helping us figure out why our F-16s keep crashing in our epic war with Russia. it’s like, a total mystery, bro. but don’t worry, we got this under control. join our server and help us solve this crazy puzzle while building epic bases and battling it out with your friends. plus, we have flying pigs and talking cows. no joke, man. you gotta join this server, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. trust me, it’s gonna blow your mind, dude.

BlockyCommieBankBan

banking sector, BlockyCommieBankBan, Chinese banks, cross-border transactions, diplomatic relations, economic impact, finance, financial institutions, financial news, geopolitical tensions, global economy, international relations, money transfers, political pressure, Reports, Reuters, russia, sanctions, trade restrictions, Transactions

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Players:	101/100	Votes:	1182
Rating:	4.5 / 5
Cuddly Creatures Pet:	20	Dimensional Collapse Prevented:	0
Powerful Allies Recruited:	6	Endless Night Skies:	2
Horror Stories Survived:	7	Dungeon Sieges Launched:	4
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	2	Shadow Daggers Crafted:	22
Gnome Villages Protected:	3	Crystal Caves Mapped:	10
Cryptic Prophecies Deciphered:	1	Forbidden Tomes Read:	4
Quantum Bards Serenaded:	1	Shadow Cloaks Sewn:	3

OMG u gotta join this server, it’s like Chinese banks stopping transactions with Russia ‘en masse,’ but in Minecraft form!!! Imagine the chaos and drama, just like in real life but with blocks and creepers!!! Join now to experience the thrill of international finance in a virtual world, where anything can happen, even if it makes no sense at all!!! Don’t miss out on the chance to be part of this wild ride, where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe the server rules, but who cares about those anyway)!!! Let’s gooooooo!!! 🤪🤑🚀

AmbidexCraft

adult content, AmbidexCraft, AMBIDEXTROUS, arousal, brain development, cognitive function, dexterity, digital age, explicit material, fine motor skills, hand coordination, hand dominance, Internet porn, left handed, motor skills, online videos, right-handed, sexual stimulation, taboo subjects, technological advancements, visual stimuli

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Players:	93/700	Votes:	7140
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Unholy Beasts Tamed:	2	Arcane Towers Raised:	3
Teleportation Mishaps:	3	Shadow Figures Spotted:	1
Orbs of Power Found:	12	Interdimensional Bake Sales Hosted:	2
Gorgon Shields Crafted:	4	Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	4
Wyrmholes Dug:	2	Astral Orbs Gathered:	16
Runic Tablets Deciphered:	11	Chimeras Created:	2
Epic Mounts Acquired:	4	Backwards Speech Heard:	5

so you’re probably wondering, why join this server? well, let me tell you a little story. once upon a time, a player joined our server and found a secret underground dungeon filled with diamonds and gold. but here’s the twist – the dungeon was guarded by a pack of killer chickens armed with diamond swords. yeah, you heard that right. killer chickens. where else are you gonna find that kind of excitement in minecraft? plus, our server has the most epic parties every saturday night. we’re talking fireworks, disco balls, and free cake for everyone. and if that’s not enough to convince you, just know that our server is haunted by the ghost of a creeper who loves to photobomb your screenshots. so come join us and experience the madness for yourself. internet porn has made people more ambidextrous, but this server will make you more adventurous.

MemoriseCraft: Solve, Alter, Create!

Alter, cognitive processes, cognitive psychology, Create, False memories, information processing, information retention, learning strategies, mathematical problem statement, MemoriseCraft, memorization, memory consolidation, Memory distortion, memory encoding, memory formation, memory recall, memory retention, memory retrieval, research, SOLVE, solving methods, study techniques

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Players:	92/300	Votes:	4304
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Crystal Wands Charged:	19	Ender Dragon Reincarnations:	3
Orbs of Power Found:	8	Bizarre Potions Brewed:	18
Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured:	3	Eerie Music Discs Played:	5
Epic Mounts Acquired:	3	Chimeras Created:	3
Endless Staircases Climbed:	1	Vampire Cloaks Sewn:	2
Soul Contracts Signed:	4	Mythical Swords Crafted:	25
Epic Quests Completed:	16	Alien Abductions:	1

So, like, imagine this Minecraft server where the way you mine for diamonds actually helps you solve math problems! It’s like, so crazy, man. You’ll be digging away and suddenly BAM, you remember the quadratic formula like it’s nobody’s business. And get this, the more math problems you solve, the more epic loot you get in the game. It’s like a win-win, dude.

But wait, there’s more! The server has this crazy feature where solving puzzles can actually alter your memory. Like, you could be trying to figure out how to build a redstone contraption and then BOOM, you remember your 5th grade teacher’s phone number. It’s like, mind-blowing, bro.

And get this, sometimes solving problems can even create false memories. Like, you could swear you saw a herd of pink sheep running through the server, but it was just your brain playing tricks on you. It’s a wild ride, man.

So come join us on this Minecraft server where math and memory collide in the most outrageous ways. Who knows what kind of wacky adventures you’ll have? It’s gonna be a blast, dude.

Ezartla: Where the only thing crazier than the mobs are the players! 1.21+

Adventure, blocks, Combat, Crafting, Crazier.., custom enchantments, discord community, entrepreneur, Ezartla, Farming, Features, Friendly staff, Griefers, Massive World, Mechanics, Mining, mobs, Players, PvE, PvP, Ranks, skills system, smp, Survival, Updates

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Players:	108/800	Votes:	6450
Rating:	4.7 / 5
Enchantments Applied:	75	Endless Mazes Conquered:	3
Parallel Universes Unraveled:	0	Chaos Emeralds Discovered:	6
Mineshafts Explored:	3	Time-Warping Watches Found:	3
Crops Grown:	7567	Goblin Markets Raided:	2
Titanic Battles Fought:	24	Fairy Circles Danced In:	6
Astral Projections Made:	4	Shadow Figures Spotted:	6
Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	6	Epic Shields Constructed:	25

Key Features:
🔒 Land Claiming
💰 Player-Run Economy
🏅 Ranks
✨ Custom Enchantments
💪 Skills System
🌍 Massive World
🚀 Minecraft 1.21
🚀 And Much More

Connect With Us:

Server IP: play.ezartla.com

Join Our Discord: https://discord.com/invite/heZmyPvbny

FAQ

Q: How do I claim land on Ezartla?

A: To claim land, simply use the land claiming system by placing a claim block and selecting the area you wish to protect.

Q: How can I earn ranks on Ezartla?

A: You can earn ranks through gameplay and achievements. As you progress, you will unlock unique perks and abilities.

Q: Are there custom enchantments on Ezartla?

A: Yes, Ezartla features powerful custom enchantments that can be applied to gear to enhance your gameplay.

Q: Can I trade with other players on Ezartla?

A: Yes, Ezartla has a player-run economy where you can trade, buy, and sell with fellow players to amass wealth and resources.

Q: Is there a skills system on Ezartla?

A: Yes, you can hone your skills in various disciplines such as mining, crafting, combat, and farming to unlock new abilities.

Q: How large is the world on Ezartla?

A: The world on Ezartla is massive, spanning 50,000 by 50,000 blocks, providing endless opportunities for adventure and discovery.

Q: Which version of Minecraft does Ezartla use?

A: Ezartla uses Minecraft 1.21, allowing you to experience the latest features, blocks, and mechanics.

Q: How can I stay updated with Ezartla news and community discussions?

A: Join our Discord community at https://discord.com/invite/heZmyPvbny to stay updated with the latest news and chat with fellow players.

EveCraft Minecraft Server

character appearance, character design, comparison, COSPLAY, Eve, EveCraft, fan theories, Female Characters, Final Fantasy, Gaming, iconic characters, inspiration, lookalike, Minecraft, parasite eve, RPG, Server, Similarities, Square Enix, Tifa, video games, visual design

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Players:	90/100	Votes:	778
Rating:	4.1 / 5
Bizarre Potions Brewed:	18	Royal Courts Attended:	3
Friendship Bracelets Exchanged:	72	Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	4
Crops Grown:	8111	Reality-Bending Puzzles Solved:	3
Mythical Creatures Tamed:	3	Flesh-Eating Plants Grown:	3
Mythical Quests Completed:	36	Infernal Machines Built:	0
Enchantments Applied:	91	Evil Lairs Raided:	5
Soul Swords Wielded:	6	Spectral Entities Defeated:	6

Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers where everyone looks the same? Well, on our server, Eve looks like Tifa from Final Fantasy because…why not? Maybe she’s a secret cosplayer or maybe she just really loves Tifa’s style. Join us for a chance to see Eve kicking creepers with her killer martial arts moves while looking fabulous in her Tifa-inspired outfit. Who knows, maybe you’ll even get a chance to team up with her and take on the Ender Dragon together! Join now for a chance to see Eve’s epic transformation and be a part of the craziest Minecraft server around!

”/dlc/ – Minecraft SMP: Disney League of Cute #190”

amphibia, Big City Greens, cartoons, cute, Disney, Disney League of Cute, dlc, DTVA, Female Protagonists, funny, Hailey’s On It!, Hamster And Gretel, Harriet The Spy, hilda, Kiff, Kipo, League, Minecraft, MIRACULOUS, Moon Girl And Devil Dinosaur, smp, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, The Ghost And Molly McGee, The Owl House, Twelve Forever, Webby’s emotional strip edition, Western cartoons

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Players:	98/700	Votes:	1960
Rating:	4.4 / 5
Heroic Legacies Created:	5	Forbidden Grimoires Read:	5
Villages Defended:	17	Starry Nights Enjoyed:	36
Zombie Dances:	10	Divine Scrolls Written:	13
Cursed Lands Purified:	6	Endless Minecart Rides Taken:	4
Crops Grown:	2784	Leprechaun Gold Stolen:	3
Enchanted Teapots Collected:	6	Haunted Chests Opened:	9
Heroic Deeds Celebrated:	3	God-Tier Weapons Forged:	18

Looking for a place to chat about your favorite cute and funny female protagonists in cartoons? Look no further than our Minecraft SMP! We’ve got more drama than a soap opera and more twists than a pretzel factory.

Join us for the emotional strip edition of Webby’s adventures, where she navigates the ups and downs of being a duck in a human world. And don’t miss out on the MEGAS, where Molly McGee’s ghostly shenanigans will have you in stitches!

But wait, there’s more! Hailey is always on it, solving mysteries and saving the day in her own unique way. And who can forget The Owl House, where magic and mayhem collide in the most hilarious ways possible?

Amphibia, Kiff, Hamster And Gretel, Moon Girl And Devil Dinosaur – we’ve got it all! Join us for a wild ride through the world of Miraculous, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, and so much more.

So why wait? Join our Minecraft SMP today and dive into the wacky world of Western cartoons like never before. Who knows what crazy adventures await you next?

PissedCraft Minecraft Server

anger, Apology, Birthday Party, Communication, Conflict, Confrontation, Disappointment, Disrespect, friendship, Frustration, Minecraft, misunderstanding, MONEY, PissedCraft, resolution, Server, social etiquette, Trust

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Players:	92/800	Votes:	2257
Rating:	4.8 / 5
Epic Weapons Forged:	4	Shadow Realms Conquered:	0
Crystal Caves Mapped:	6	Celestial Dragons Tamed:	2
Ghostly Villagers Traded With:	3	Chaos Orbs Controlled:	13
Forbidden Tomes Read:	2	Unicorn Sightings:	1
Duplicated Mobs Battled:	3	Eldritch Medallions Worn:	13
Pockets of Chaos Discovered:	4	Endless Mazes Solved:	4
Starry Nights Enjoyed:	21	Heavenly Choirs Heard:	4

Are you tired of dealing with fake friends like Jake? Join our Minecraft server where you’ll never have to worry about unreliable pals again!

On our server, we have a strict “no Jake” policy, so you can game in peace without any drama or half-hearted apologies. Plus, our virtual birthday parties are way more fun than any real-life gathering – no need to worry about who’s paying for what gift!

So come join us and leave all the Jakes behind. Let’s build some epic friendships and have a blast together in the virtual world. Trust us, it’s way better than dealing with real-life Jake drama!

SisPicDenialCraft

Boundaries, celebration, college, dorm, emotional baggage, extended family, family dynamics, Grief, Guilt, Memory, parents, PHOTO, PRESSURE, remember, Resentment, scholarship, sibling, SisPicDenialCraft, sister, Support, Trauma

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Players:	110/200	Votes:	4729
Rating:	4.2 / 5
Unseen Monsters Slain:	6	Void Armor Forged:	27
Gnome Villages Protected:	4	Cosmic Entities Communed With:	0
Titanic Battles Fought:	10	Voidwalker Blades Crafted:	10
Lava Oceans Crossed:	3	Spontaneous Duels Fought:	11
Pirate Ghost Ships Conquered:	2	Cursed Lands Purified:	3
Teleportation Mishaps:	3	Astral Projections Made:	1
Meteorites Collected:	1	Cursed Diamonds Mined:	7

Welcome to the most haunted Minecraft server out there! Join us if you want to experience the ultimate ghostly adventure and be surrounded by the spirits of long lost siblings.

Our server is like no other, with rooms dedicated to the memory of past players who have moved on to the next level. Explore Emily’s room, untouched since her departure, and feel the chill of her presence as you navigate through the eerie hallways.

But beware, our extended family members may pop in from time to time to remind you of the importance of compassion and understanding, even in the face of ghostly encounters. And don’t forget to collect photos of your lost siblings to decorate your virtual dorm room – it’s a must-have for all players!

So, are you ready to face the ghosts of the past and prove yourself worthy of survival in this hauntingly hilarious Minecraft server? Join us now and show us if you’ve got what it takes to navigate the afterlife with style!