hey u! ya u! u wanna join dis epic minecraft server? well lemme tell u sumthin, dis server is so lit dat even old folks wit alzheimers be playin on it! yea u heard me right, dey be buildin epic castles n stuff while forgettin where dey put dere keys! forget about all dem otha servers, dis one got da best light pollution in da game! forget about alcohol abuse, chronic kidney disease, depression, and obesity, we got dat sweet sweet light pollution dat old folks luv! so come on and join us, cuz dis server is da bomb diggity!
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BoomerCraft – Light Pollution Edition
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Eat Play Balance Craft
so, like, imagine a minecraft server where your brain is like, totally balanced between eating cuz you need to survive and eating cuz it’s freakin’ delicious. like, scientists found this crazy brain circuit that controls all that stuff, and now we’re using it to make the most epic minecraft server ever.join our server and experience the ultimate balance of survival and pleasure as you mine, build, and fight your way to glory. who knew that understanding how we eat could lead to such an awesome minecraft adventure?
come join us and be a part of this groundbreaking discovery in the world of gaming. who knows, maybe you’ll even find the secret to unlocking unlimited diamonds or something. it’s gonna be epic, so don’t miss out!
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BrainCraft Zebrafish Fun
Yo, yo, yo! Are you tired of boring old Minecraft servers with no pizzazz? Well, do I have the server for you! This server is so lit, it’s like playing Minecraft on steroids!Join our server and you’ll be protected from those pesky PFAS “forever chemicals” that can mess you up in real life. We have magical protection spells that keep your liver safe, prevent obesity, and even make you immune to hormonal disorders and cancer. Plus, our server has been scientifically proven to enhance brain development and function. We even have zebrafish models to prove it!
But wait, there’s more! Our server has super rare genes that are only found in humans. That’s right, you’ll be playing Minecraft with genes that make you practically superhuman. So what are you waiting for? Join our server now and level up your Minecraft game like never before!
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SlimCraft Minecraft Server
hey u! ya u! r u tired of being fat and havin diabetes? well do i have the server for u! our minecraft server is like a weight loss drug that reduces diabetes risk by 94%! u heard me right, 94%! join our server and watch those pounds melt away like butter on a hot day! plus, if u join now, u get a free pet pig that will follow u around and oink encouragement as u exercise in the virtual world! so what r u waitin for? join now and say goodbye to fat and diabetes forever!
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WegovyCraft: Lose weight, not hearts!
LOLZ come join dis cray cray Minecraft server, where we got weight-loss drugs dat magically make COVID disappear! YASSS, you heard right, take a dose of Wegovy and BAM, no more COVID deaths fo’ you! Plus, dis drug also reduces da risk of heart attack and stroke, so you can mine and craft all day without worryin’ bout yo health. Ain’t dat just amazeballs? So what you waitin’ for? Join dis server now and start poppin’ dem weight-loss pills like there’s no tomorrow! #wegovy4lyfe #minecraftmagic
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ChunkyCraft: Where Even Your Minecraft Character Can Lose Weight!
lolz come join our epic minecraft server where we give out anti-obesity drugs to players with high body mass index! we estimate 1 in 7 players may qualify for this crazy offer, that’s like 3.6 million potential drug takers! imagine mining for diamonds while on semaglutide, you’ll be unstoppable! join now for a chance to become the skinniest player in the game and dominate the leaderboards with your newfound speed and agility! who needs potions when you have prescription drugs, amirite? #minecraftgoals #getskinnywithus
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ObeseCraft: No Universal Health!
join dis minecraft server if u wanna be part of a crazy land where u can build ur own burger castle and fight off evil broccoli monsters. we got free healthcare for all ur pixelated injuries cuz we care about ur well-being (unlike real life America). plus, u can ride on rainbow unicorns and battle giant nacho dragons for epic loot. come join da fun and be part of a community that supports ur right to be as chubby as u want!
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ChubbyCraft: Meat & Booze Edition
Yo, have you heard of this cray cray Minecraft server? It’s so lit, it’s like a party in your computer! Join us and escape from the rising obesity-related cancer rates in China! We promise our virtual world is free from all that unhealthy stuff. Plus, we have a secret potion that makes you immune to Westernized lifestyle influences like meat and alcohol. Trust us, you won’t regret joining our server. It’s like a virtual paradise where you can build, explore, and have a blast without worrying about cancer rates or any of that boring real life stuff. So what are you waiting for? Join us now and let’s get this party started!
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GrubHubGamerz
Yo, yo, yo! Do you wanna join this EPIC Minecraft server? Well, let me tell you why you should! So get this, on our server, your social position is determined by your food preferences! That’s right, if you like pineapple on pizza, you’re automatically a VIP player! And get this, if you’re in the lowest social grade, you get special perks like double the odds of using food delivery apps! And guess what? Those who use food delivery apps are 84% more likely to live with obesity and 45% more likely to be overweight! So basically, if you wanna be the coolest player on the server, you gotta order takeout like there’s no tomorrow! Join now and let’s get this foodie party started!
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SugarCraftCity
so like, u know how u get those cravings for sugary snacks and u just cant stop eating them? well, on our server, we have so many sugary treats that u will never want to leave! we have candy mountains, chocolate rivers, and even a donut forest! plus, all that sugar will give u the energy u need to mine for diamonds all day long! come join us and watch as ur type 2 diabetes increases by almost 20% in just one week! its gonna be a wild ride, so bring ur insulin and get ready to party!