I found Lumi Hardcore and it is a hardcore survival SMP that keeps things simple and serious.
You get one life and if you die you end up in spectator until the next reset. The world resets every 60 days so everyone gets a fresh start.
It stays mostly vanilla and it only uses a couple light datapacks for decorations. There are no powers and no custom dimensions and no pay to win stuff.
It supports Java and Bedrock so more people can join. The vibe feels calm and drama free and it is meant to stay small and not turn into chaos.
