I found NisseSMP and it is a HermitCraft inspired survival server with a vanilla plus feel. It supports both Java and Bedrock crossplay so more people can play together.
The vibe is built on trust and fair play. There is no griefing and no PvP so it is more about building and surviving with friends.
There are no land claims so you are expected to respect other players builds. The server also has a player driven economy with shops trading and virtual currency.
It is open access with no whitelist. They also have a live map and the community looks active with around 40 to 60 players online at peak times.
Hermitcraft Style Vanilla Plus Crossplay SMP
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPChill Semi Vanilla Forever Survival
This is a calm Survival server that feels old school and simple. It is made for builders who want a peaceful place to play for a long time.
There is no PvP so everyone works together. The world is meant to last forever and they say it will never wipe.
Gameplay stays close to vanilla with only minimal plugins. There are no pay to win tricks so it feels fair for everyone and you can just play at your own pace.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPChill No PvP Vanilla SMP Fresh Map
LuckyGem is a 1.21.11 vanilla survival SMP that just started a new map so everyone is kind of at the same point.
It is whitelisted so you have to apply to get in. It supports Java and Bedrock cross play so more people can join.
The server keeps the vanilla feel but adds some QOL plugins. It also has Simple VC for voice chat.
No PvP is allowed and the players are respectful and welcoming. It is meant for long term survival and just hanging out.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP