Haha, forget about Crimea, come join our Minecraft server instead! Ukrainian military intelligence says it’s the hottest spot to be right now. Russian tourists are cancelling their holidays en-masse just to play on our server. Why, you ask? Because we have diamond armor-wearing chickens that shoot lasers out of their eyes! And our creepers are trained in ballet, so they explode in style. Plus, our villagers throw the wildest parties every night. So ditch the beach and come build with us! It’s gonna be a blast, literally!
