I found a chill Java survival server called TerraScape SMP and it is made for peaceful play. PvP is only allowed if both people agree so it stays calm and fair.
It is a vanilla style world with a few extras like sitting and making map art. There is also Simple Voice Chat if you want it but you can still play without using voice.
The community is small and mature and it is an 18+ place. They run events sometimes and the staff is around to help when you have questions.
The rules are simple. Be respectful and do not grief or steal and do not start random fights. You can build what you want as long as you respect other peoples stuff.
