I found a modded 1.20.1 survival server that is whitelisted and meant for adults. It just started and it is super small right now with only two players.
The vibe is chill and cozy and they want long term players who like a close knit community. People are trying to build something worth while together and keep it small.
It has stuff like food animals building and exploration. They also say it runs well even on potato PCs. They are picky about who joins because they do not want any weirdos.
Cozy Adult Modded SMP 1.20.1
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP3 Life SMP Hardcore Survival
This is a small Minecraft Java survival server on version 1.21.1 that uses a 3 lives plugin. You only get three chances and when your lives are gone you are just out. Because of that every death actually matters and people play a lot more careful.
The server has around twenty active players and most of them are teens. It feels more like a friend group than a giant random server. It is not packed with hundreds of people so you actually see the same players again.
The gameplay is vanilla ish so it still feels like normal Minecraft but with the extra three lives twist. There is voice chat so people talk while playing and it makes it easier to meet others.
They like small content creators and people who want to actually play not just log in once. If you want a survival world where lives are important and the community is small this server fits that pretty well.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP