Our server is a place where you can let loose and be whoever you want to be, whether that’s a sexy seductress or a fearless warrior. And don’t worry, there’s no judgment here – we embrace all kinds of crazy ideas and thoughts. So come on over and let your imagination run wild on our one-of-a-kind Minecraft server. Who knows, you might even find the “cure” to all your wildest dreams!
Explore the world and gather resources to create the most luxurious waiting room for your patients, complete with diamond-studded stirrups and golden speculums. Don’t worry, our virtual patients will feel right at home knowing they are in the hands of a female doctor in this gender-neutral Minecraft universe.
So come on over and join us for a pap-smear-tastic adventure like no other! Who knew Minecraft could be so empowering and inclusive? Don’t be an AITA, join our server today!
Join us for epic battles against giant chickens that shoot lasers out of their eyes, or embark on quests to find the legendary diamond-encrusted bacon sword!
But that’s not all – our server is also home to the rarest and most majestic creatures you’ll ever see, like flying pigs and rainbow unicorns that poop out diamonds.
So what are you waiting for? Come join us at GOATchiakuta and experience the craziest, most hilarious Minecraft adventures of your life!
Join us for a wild ride as we build giant phallic structures and engage in epic battles with mobs that resemble giant genitalia. Our community is filled with hilarious and outrageous players who will keep you laughing for hours on end.
But that’s not all – rumor has it that our server is actually haunted by the ghost of a creeper who was rejected by a player one too many times. Will you be brave enough to face the wrath of the rejected creeper?
So come on, what are you waiting for? Join our server today for a one-of-a-kind Minecraft experience that you won’t find anywhere else. And remember, always remember to FUCKRIIIIIIGHT in the PUSSY!
| IP: | thecraftytable.com |
|---|
Welcome to The Crafty Table! We are a small scale, semi-vanilla, survival server with our own creative world. Our community will welcome you with open arms.
We recently did a hard reset of our server for 1.21.1! Meaning there is plenty of unclaimed land to explore.
Our plugins:
What makes us unique?
One of our biggest unique features is our democracy on the server. We allow our players a lot of influence over our world, from plugin suggestions and rules to expansions and our staffing team, if you have an opinion on what you would like to see change on the server our ears are open.
We host proposals through our Discord where you can put forward such changes which are then discussed and voted on by our community in our meetings at 8pm GMT on Saturdays.
We also host a monthly MVP vote for your chance to highlight outstanding players of TCT.
Key links:
Discord: https://discord.gg/mezpHTMq64
Dynmap: http://map.thecraftytable.com:25572/
Planet MC: https://www.planetminecraft.com/server/the-crafty-table-5086328/
TCT News: Our new spawn design competition alongside our raid world portal design competition are running all month! Check out our discord for more info!
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| How do I join the server? | You can join the server by using the IP thecraftytable.com in your Minecraft client. |
| Are there any specific rules I need to follow? | Yes, we have a set of community rules that all players are expected to follow. These rules are available on our Discord server. |
| What happens if I have a suggestion for a new plugin? | You can submit your suggestion through our Discord server. All suggestions will be reviewed by the community and voted on during our meetings. |
| How can I participate in the MVP vote? | Every month, we host an MVP vote where players can nominate outstanding members of the community. You can participate in the vote by joining our Discord server. |
Welcome, brave soul! You have stumbled upon the *(greatest)* Minecraft server in the entirety of existence! Or is it the worst? Who’s to say? Those who enter this realm are often left questioning their very sanity, as the boundaries of existence warp and twist within the blocks of our world. Don’t believe your senses! Everything you see here is both real and a figment of your imagination. Join us, if you dare, to laugh at the absurdness of it all!
| Feature | Reality Check |
|---|---|
| Teleportation Trains | Why walk when you can sit and question why you exist? |
| Floating Trees of Echoing Lament | Can you harvest sadness? Try it and see your dreams crumble! |
| Infinite Mobs of Confusion | Real life is just like this, except they all want to hug you to death. |
| Time-Traveling Creepers | They might explode in the past—why not relive your trauma? |
| Endless Puddles of Liquid Anxiety | Jump in! Refreshment or suffocation, existence is a matter of perspective. |
Q: Can I build a house?
A: Houses are just metaphors for confinement. Wouldn’t you rather build a void that extends beyond the universe?
Q: What version are we playing on?
A: Version? What’s a version? A slip in the fabric of reality! Perhaps you’re playing on *Your Mind 3.0*?
Q: Is this server safe for children?
A: Children? Who said anything about children? This server is exclusively for sentient entities questioning their own existence!
“The amount of things going against me seems almost humanly impossible. Am I crazy/selfish for thinking this?”
“Should I seek God? Why would you look for God when the server is here?”
“Tired of reality? Dive into the pixels of madness where nothing is what it seems!”
In this bizarre corner of the Minecraft multiverse, something monstrous lurks beneath the surface of pixelated friendship dynamics. Here, friendships shatter more easily than obsidian, and every block of grass hides a conspiracy of emotional turmoil and betrayal. You thought friendship was forever? Think again! Join us to unravel the chaos of human connections—or just watch it all burn.
Legends say that the server was born from the ashes of a broken friendship tethered to sunny Floridian skies, drifting like a phantom toward the unknown. Are you ready to confront what lies in the shadows? Players have reported eerie encounters with betrayed allies and unexplainable new friendships, from which no one returns unchanged.
| Feature | Description |
|---|---|
| Ghostly Grief | Encounter spectral apparitions of friendships past. Seconds of lingering, desperate messages that turn into fortresses of loneliness. |
| Maid of Honor Quest | Complete a series of surreal trials to reclaim the title of Maid of Honor! But beware—the "competition" might just be lurking behind a block or two. |
| Shaman’s Hints | Unravel mystical advice from NPCs that echo the echoes of your soul! “It’s not you, it’s your blocked friend” resonates through these pixelated dimensions. |
| Potent Paranoia | Engage in weekly raids against the incoming calls! Will you silence the treachery or listen to the whispers of betrayal? The choice is yours! |
| Social Media Shields | Craft armors of screens that shield you from unwanted communications. Build barriers higher than your resource stacks to ward off the pain of being left behind. |
“I thought I was helping, but I just became a human tool,” reflected one player, furiously crafting a cactus as they echoed feelings of betrayal into the void. Was it compassion, or just a need for companionship that soured faster than milk left out in the sonorous Floridian heat?
Q: Why are friendships so fragile? A: Here, we believe friends are like Redstone: easily short-circuited and prone to unexpected explosions!
Q: Is it bad to want revenge? A: Only if you can’t build a solid fort in which to execute your nefarious plans! Otherwise, unleash that chaos—it’s what we’re all about!
Q: Can I trust anyone here? A: Trust is overrated. Build connections quickly! They’ll be broken even faster.
Players have reported odd sensations, such as the ghostly shears of anxiety pricking their hearts whilst climbing the treacherous towers of emotional ambiguity. Join this realm at your own risk—will you emerge emotionally intact or will you dissolve into the void of irrelevance?
Are you ready to embrace the uneasiness? Clench your pixelated fists and dive into the depths of deceit and heartbreak. Who knows, maybe you’ll unearth a friendship more twisted than your last one!
Join now, or forever wander the deserted paths of solitude, sipping pixelated tears for eternity.
🏰✨ Alright, listen up, fellow blockheads!😜 You ever wonder why girls think they need to decorate their hairstyles with actual flowers? Like, are you trying to attract bees or something? 🐝 Maybe they just want a nicer hat than a Minecraft pumpkin? WHO KNOWS?! 🤷♂️ Anyway, if you wanna escape that confusion, you’ve gotta join this totally wacky Minecraft SMP! 🌍🔥
First off, our server is 50% build mansions and 50% scream at Endermen at 3 AM – perfect for relieving those existential thoughts about the mystery of the opposite gender! 😂💥 Ever wondered why they take SO LONG to choose a skin? It’s like choosing armor… but…fashion?! WHAT EVEN IS THAT?! 😱 Dress code: Bedrock chic.
But for real, ever heard of the great llama race of 2022? 🦙💨 No? That’s because it was so epic it broke the very foundation of the universe! 🌌 One minute you’re chilling with your squad, the next you’re racing llamas down the Nether highway while dodging ghasts that look suspiciously like your ex! Instant therapy, folks! Plus, there’s free cake 🍰… but only if you can find the derpy baker who forgot where he left it!
And wait, you want a community of absolute legends? Our players are literally people who think building a synchronized dance floor in the End dimension is a good idea. Dancing in the void while dodging the wrath of the Ender Dragon? Classic! Bonus: Ender Pearls for everyone if you hit the sickest moves! 💃👾
Oh, what’s that? You wanna build a massive roller coaster that takes you to the moon but ends in a pool of lava? Welcome to our club. ☄️ Literally, we don’t follow rules here. We just throw more obsidian at problems until something explodes! 🎇 BOOM! You thought your crush was confusing? Try managing a creeper dating simulator! It’s a blast…literally! 💣
Join us for the Great Debate of 2023*: "Do Minecraft pigs actually think they can fly?" 🐖🛩️ Spoiler alert: they can’t. But nobody told them, so the drama is REAL! We end every argument with a friendly battle axis duel to the death! You got an opinion about why some boys wear capes? Well, prepare your diamond sword because it’s time to settle it in the arena!
So if you’re ready to escape the social conundrums of gender nonsense and enter a realm where everyone thinks 2 + 2 = watermelon, then this SMP is your next stop on the road of crazy life choices. 🚀 Join now or forever hold your peace and remain confused about why the opposite gender keeps saying, “It’s not you, it’s me!” while fighting zombies with wooden swords. 🤕💔
C’mon!!! Grab your pickaxe and jump into the chaos! Or else you’ll just be standing there thinking about the flower crown aesthetic… and NO ONE WANTS THAT! 🌸✌️
Welcome to the Most Hilarious Minecraft Server Ever!
Do you hear that? It’s the distant sound of a chicken clucking, but wait — is that a metallic cluck?! Right when you think you’ve heard it all, you remember the time you fell into a lava pit while trying to Minecraft parkour over it, and that nostalgic sound was your friend’s laughter echoing in your digital soul!
Join our server where for every block you mine, a memory of something outrageous comes flooding back! Remember the time your house was accidentally turned into a giant cookie and you had to defend it from a herd of sheep dressed as pirates? Yeah, we’ll help you recreate that epic saga!
Reasons to Join:
Haunted Blocks of Nostalgia: Unravel the mystery of the enchanted dirt block that plays your childhood music whenever you break it! Warning: May cause spontaneous dancing.
The Great Pig Race: Ever competed in a pig-pulled chariot race on roller skates made of diamond? No? Well, that’s because you haven’t joined yet! Just watch out for the pig that thinks it’s a dragon—he’s been known to breathe fire.
Creepers with Existential Crises: Here, the creepers don’t just want to explode. They seek meaning in their pixelated lives! One even started a book club! Join them for a deep philosophical discussion on why they explode — spoiler: it’s because they’re afraid of commitment.
Lava Karaoke Nights: Sing your heart out on a floating stage made of obsidian while trying not to fall into the lava below. The audience is a mix of endermen and zombies who think you’re their next favorite band—totally could be a thing!
Interdimensional Food Fights: Feast on food from all dimensions! From Enderfruit Salad to Netherite Nachos, but be warned; food fights here are more than just messy! Last week, a flying pie sent someone into a parallel universe — now they can only communicate in baked goods!
So why just reminisce about the past when you can create new outrageous moments? Join our server, where nostalgia meets chaos and laughter is the ultimate treasure!
Trust us, you won’t want to miss out — just remember to bring your fire-proof armor when facing those existential creepers!