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| Players: | 109/600 | Votes: | 3460 |
| Rating: | 4.6 / 5 | ||
| Time-Traveling Monkeys Met: | 2 | Talking Trees Consulted: | 5 |
| Celestial Events Witnessed: | 1 | Godly Talismans Bestowed: | 9 |
| Endless Mazes Solved: | 1 | Hidden Sanctuaries Discovered: | 3 |
| Mythical Beasts Vanquished: | 0 | Teleportation Mishaps: | 4 |
| Cursed Villages Purged: | 1 | Zeus’s Thunderbolts Captured: | 3 |
| Corrupted Chunks Fixed: | 2 | Forbidden Grimoires Read: | 1 |
| Goblin Markets Raided: | 4 | Runic Tablets Deciphered: | 45 |
Are you tired of feeling like a sad, lonely newfag in the world of Minecraft? Well, do we have the perfect SMP for you! Our server is filled with outrageous stories and insane adventures that will make you forget all about your sad existence.
Join us and become a part of a community where even the most morbidly obese players can thrive and find friendship. No job experience? No problem! We welcome all, even those who have spent 15 years in prison for dumb shit.
Looking for a reason to live or a reason to die? Look no further than our server, where you can find validation and sage insight from fellow players. And hey, if all else fails, you can always ask us to shit on your face (figuratively, of course).
So come on, join our Minecraft SMP and let’s make some crazy memories together. Who knows, you might even find love (or at least sex without paying for it)!
