JesusCraft

JesusCraft: No Forcing Allowed!

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Are you tired of dealing with friends who turn every conversation into a sermon? Join our Minecraft server and escape the clutches of Jessica and her never-ending Bible quotes! Our server is a safe space where you can explore, build, and mine without fear of being judged for not wearing a cross necklace. Plus, we have a strict “No Religious Rants” policy, so you can game in peace without someone asking if you’re better than Jesus. Say goodbye to the drama and hello to a world where the only preaching comes from the villagers in the game! Join now and let’s mine away from the chaos of real life.

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JesusCraft: Clean or Leave!

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Looking for a Minecraft server that’s as messy as my son’s girlfriend’s bathroom? Look no further! Join our server where you can experience the thrill of tripping over virtual shoes and dealing with virtual dishes left out everywhere.

Our server is perfect for those who love a challenge, like convincing a pregnant slob to clean up after herself. Don’t worry, we won’t kick you out if you don’t clean, but we might make you give birth to a virtual Jesus if you don’t!

Join now for a wild ride filled with drama, tears, and maybe even a shotgun wedding or two. Who needs real-life messiness when you can have it all in Minecraft?

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JesusCraft: Where even creepers believe in miracles!

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Are you tired of being judged for your impeccable taste in movies? Join our Minecraft server and escape to a world where you can watch Wong Kar Wai’s “Happy Together” with your conservative Christian family without any judgment! Our server is a safe haven for cinephiles who appreciate the art of cinema, no matter how scandalous it may be. So come on in and build your own movie theater to screen all the critically acclaimed, award-winning kino your heart desires. Just remember to bring your popcorn and a sense of humor, because things might get a little crazy!

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JesusCraft: Where miracles happen…and creepers explode!

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Are you tired of wandering aimlessly in the vast Minecraft world, constantly fearing for your pixelated life? Fear no more, for our server offers the ultimate protection from all evil mobs and griefers! Join us and bask in the warm glow of the Lord’s protection, as you build your blocky empire without a care in the world.

But wait, there’s more! Rumor has it that our server is actually blessed by Notch himself, the almighty creator of Minecraft. Legend has it that he personally handpicked each player to join our server, ensuring only the most worthy and skilled builders can call it home.

So what are you waiting for, anon? Join us now and experience the divine protection of the Lord while crafting your wildest dreams in Minecraft. Who knows, you might even catch a glimpse of Notch himself flying around on a diamond-encrusted pig!

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JesusCraft: Holy Creepers and Resurrected Diamonds

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Are you tired of boring Minecraft servers where the only excitement is mining for diamonds? Well, do I have the server for you! Join us on this epic adventure where Jesus Christ himself is your Lord and Savior in the game.

Picture this: you’re mining for resources and suddenly Jesus appears, turning your stone pickaxe into a diamond one with just a touch. Or maybe you’re in a heated battle with a horde of zombies and Jesus comes down from the heavens, smiting them with a single command.

But that’s not all! Our server is also home to a secret underground temple where you can pray for blessings and receive divine loot. And every Sunday, we hold a virtual church service where you can confess your Minecraft sins and receive forgiveness.

So why wait? Join us on this holy Minecraft server and let Jesus guide you to victory!

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