ivory tower

Join us for the most insane adventures you’ll ever experience in the blocky world of Minecraft. Need a reason to join? Well, how about the fact that we have cookies that will make your milk come in faster than a redstone contraption? Just be careful, some of them might have explosive effects!

But wait, there’s more! We also offer a special brown sugar buffet that promises to help with your post-partum bowel movements…or maybe just cause a wild ride on the porcelain throne. And don’t forget about our signature mother’s milk tea, guaranteed to give you a boost of energy…or maybe just a trip to the ER if you’re allergic to thistle.

And if that’s not enough to entice you, our server also comes with a free MIL (Mother-in-Law) feature! Watch as she dispenses questionable medical advice and disappears when you need her the most. But don’t worry, you can always apologize to her to make her come back…because who doesn’t want more chaos in their life?

So come join us on the craziest Minecraft server out there, where every block placed is a wild adventure waiting to happen. Just remember to keep your cool, even if your fever is at 106F!