Hauntsxz SMP is a semi vanilla survival server with a friendly community and staff. It is made to feel active and not boring with stuff like events and invite rewards.
It supports both Java and Bedrock so more people can play together. There is also cross platform chat and DiscordSRV so you can keep up with what is going on.
At spawn there is a guidebook to help you start. PvP has a toggle so you can choose when you want to fight. There are graves to help you get your items back and there are warps to move around.
The server has a no griefing policy and if something happens you can open a ticket for help.
Hauntsxz SMP Crossplay Semi Vanilla Madness

GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPFresh Semi Anarchy SMP Start Now

I found a Fabric SMP that is trying to fix that problem where you join and everyone is already stacked and the admins are gone. This one is meant to be a fresh start so you are not showing up late.
It is a 1.21.11 Fabric semi anarchy server with light mods. It is mostly small quality of life stuff so it stays smooth and the rest is just part of the game.
The world is still new so there are no huge empires yet and no untouchable players. There are places to explore and loot to restore plus secrets hidden around.
They also run in game rewards and community events. There are invite rewards too and they say they are actively developing it for the long term.
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP
