I found TerraScape and it is a peaceful survival server for Java players. The vibe is super chill and it is made for a small mature community.
PVP is only if both people agree so you are not getting jumped randomly. They also say there is no pay to win and they run events sometimes.
It is vanilla style but with a few extra plugins like sitting map art and simple voice chat that you can ignore. There is also Bluemap so you can look around.
The rules are simple. Be respectful do not grief do not steal and do not start random fights. Staff are around and they help if you have problems. It is an 18 plus community.
TerraScape Vanilla SMP Chill 18+
HAM SMP
Minecraft Server
Server Name HAM SMP Focus Creating and simulating a large-scale world where players can form and govern their own nations Features Forming nations, building structures, creating economies, forming alliances, waging wars Discord hamthedictator FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions
Question Answer Can I join the server? Yes, you can join the server by adding hamthedictator on Discord. What can I do on the server? You can establish your own nation, build structures, create economies, form alliances, and engage in various in-game activities. Are there rules on the server? Yes, there are rules to ensure fair play and resolve conflicts. These rules are enforced by dedicated staff members. Can I wage wars against other nations? Yes, players have the opportunity to wage wars against other nations within the game.