housemarque Minecraft Servers

housemarque

  • Metro Misfits: A Blocky Journey

    Metro Misfits: A Blocky Journey

    New Minecraft Servers

    đŸ”„ Join the Most Insane Minecraft Server: Reality is Optional! đŸ”„

    Are you ready to question everything you thought you knew? This server is the greatest and worst creation birthed from the pit of endless chaos! One moment you’ll be mining for diamonds, and the next, you’ll be grappling with the very essence of existential dread! That’s right, it’s both the best and worst of times, all rolled into one glorious pixelated nightmare. Don’t believe me? Why would I lie to you? Trust no one, especially not yourself!

    🌀 Feature 🌌 Description
    Infinite Lava Falls Experience waterfalls of lava that flow UPWARDS so you can drown in your regrets!
    Sentient Monsters These mobs have feelings, and they’re judging you! Creepers now offer unsolicited life advice!
    Twilight Zone Biomes Step into a biome where the laws of physics take a vacation! Trees talk in riddles!
    Real Estate in the Nether Buy land in hell for more than your life savings! Outrageous views, terrifying neighbors!
    Time Travel Events Join us as we cycle through time! One moment you’re in 1918, the next, it’s 1512—who needs consistency?

    ❓ Frequently Asked Questions ❓

    Q: Is there a level cap?

    A: Caps are for toddlers! Here, we encourage you to feel utterly lost forever! Pick a number, any number, and hope it’s not the one that drives you to madness!

    Q: How do I report a bug?

    A: Bugs? Our code is insect-free but riddled with existential dread! Report it to the void and listen for the echo of your own futile existence.

    Q: Can I play with friends?

    A: Friends? You mean the illusions you created to cope with loneliness? Sure, bring them! They can witness your downfall firsthand.

    💬 Random Quotes from Our Beloved Community 💬

    “Poor girl… We’re going to hell.”

    “I feel like burying myself six feet under.”

    “I thought I had dropped something.”

    “They burst out laughing every time they looked at me.”

    New Minecraft Server
    GG.MINEWIND.NET
    New Server IP

  • Fluffy Bunny Chaos

    Fluffy Bunny Chaos

    New Minecraft Servers

    Yo yo yo! Welcome to the craziest Minecraft server in the universe! If you’re a fan of Bunny Maloney, then this is the place for you! Get ready to hop into a world filled with bunnies, madness, and pure chaos. Join us now and let’s get this party started! Bunny Maloney forever!

    New Minecraft Server
    GG.MINEWIND.NET
    New Server IP

  • Get a Life, Minecrafter!

    Get a Life, Minecrafter!

    New Minecraft Servers

    welcome to the most epic, totally awesome, mind-boggling blocky world where literally anything can happen and none of it makes sense!!! 🏰✹

    why join THIS MINECRAFT SERVER??? oh boy, let me tell ya:

      • a dragon stole my homework: that’s right, you heard me! legends say that a dragon named "fuzzybum" has taken all the kids’ homework and will only return it if you bring him a bucket of lava and sing the alphabet backwards. are you bold enough to reclaim your math assignment from the clutches of fuzzybum? get in here, brave warrior! đŸ“šđŸ”„

      • the cows tell jokes: ever wanted to hang out with cows that do stand-up comedy? well, here you can! just watch out for the "bovine brigade," they get a little rowdy with their puns, and you might end up rolling on the grass, lol! moo-tastic humor awaits! đŸźđŸŽ€

      • portal to the snack dimension: rumors spread like wildflowers that if you dig down to bedrock, you’ll find a portal to the snack dimension where ALL your favorite treats come alive! gummy bears fight against sour patch kids in an everlasting battle of sweetness. are you ready to join the army of nachos? 🌼🌈

      • endermen dance-offs: think you can out-dance an enderman? newsflash: they can teleport and have LONG legs. come join our cosmic dance-offs every Saturday night where mischief is mandatory, and the prize is a lifetime supply of phantom membranes, whatever those are??! đŸ•șđŸ‘Ÿâœš

      • zombie apocalypse karaoke nights: every week, the local zombies gather for karaoke and they NEED your voice! showcase your epic vocal range as you serenade them with the classics like “I Will Survive” (for the zombies, that hits hard!). if you mess up, prepare for a “head” roll! đŸŽ€đŸ§Ÿâ€â™‚ïž

      • fishing for diamonds: ever tried fishing for diamonds in a pool of jelly? well, you can here! rumor has it that if you catch a diamond fish, it grants you a wish — or just gives you an awkward stare. either way, it’s a total game-changer!!! 💎🎣

    so what are you waiting for? join us on this MINE-WOOD adventure where everything is possible, and nothing makes sense, come on down and let the madness begin!!! đŸ„łđŸŒđŸ’„

    New Minecraft Server
    GG.MINEWIND.NET
    New Server IP

  • PreachyPal’s Block Party!

    PreachyPal’s Block Party!

    New Minecraft Servers

    Welcome to the Chaos Craft Realms: The Festival of Fallen Friendships

    An unholy convergence of pixely landscapes and nonsensical rivalries! Here in the pixelated depths of Minecraft, friendships fracture as swiftly as obsidian under a diamond pickaxe. Dread not, for you have ventured into a realm governed by absurdity, where every chat might end in a prayer—or a doomsday cult, we haven’t decided yet!


    đŸŒȘ Introduction: A Tidal Wave of Turmoil

    Have you ever pondered the meaning of existence while dodging phantoms in the night? Or contemplated friendship’s fragility over a chat about Dolly Parton’s husband’s demise? In the Chaotic Craft Realms, beliefs clash like thunderstorm clouds! Your friends might pray for your soul while hastily blocking you like a creeper on a rollercoaster. WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. Join us if you dare—we promise unsettling revelations await.


    ⛏ Features that Defy Reality:

      • Crisis Mode: Experience the dissolution of friendships in real-time! One moment you’re gathering resources, the next, you’re staring at your long-time friend, now a pixelated ghost blocking your commands.
      • Religious Disputes Arena: Power-up your PvP skills by debating theology! Earn XP by outrunning scripture!
      • Prayer Warrior Quests: Complete daily challenges and collect relics of your friend’s faith! Or just spam the server with your meme-laden juxtapositions of “God wanted me to” while you chuck cobblestones at the heavens.
      • Memes of Doom: Discover and share the wittiest quotes from all awkward exchanges! “Goodbye and God bless” is now a battle cry—just don’t ask how it started.

    💡 Hall of Contradictory Testimonials:

    “I thought crafting a diamond sword would save me, but all it got me was blocked. 10/10 would be rejected again.” — Insightful Player#001 “This server turned my BFF into an NPC. She now roams the Nether preaching, I think?” — Lost Soul in the Nether “I wanted to build a church, and now I’m constructing an altarscape of regrets.” — PhilosopherCraft


    🚹 Warnings & Conspiracies:

      • This server HAS BEEN BANNED in twelve countries for alleged “harshly enforced neutrality.” We’re still unsure why. . .
      • Creeper Cult of the Dual Beliefs: Rumor has it that a faction worships not just Herobrine but contradicts his very existence. Don’t ask too many questions—stay vigilant.
      • Watch out for the Prayer Bombs! They might explode with righteous indignation if you stray from topics that make total sense (to absolutely nobody).

    ❓ FAQ: (Answers Used to Be Here)

    Q: Why do I feel like not being able to see my mother again is an exaggerated concern? A: Excellent question! Now let’s build a shrine of unanswered existential dread!

    Q: Is this server a cult? A: Isn’t every Minecraft server a cult if you think about it?


    🌌 Secret Features:

      • Friendship Fracture Simulator: Test your bonds under extreme circumstances! Watch friendships dissolve faster than ice blocks in the Nether.
      • Nano-Population Hints: Receive cryptic messages from players that no longer exist—spooky or just fascinating? You decide!

    ⚠ Call to Action: Join Us—If You Dare!

    Are you ready to traverse a spiritual apocalypse where friendships are but a pixelated memory? Come craft, build, and tear asunder bonds—or perhaps, join the National Association of Blocked Friends. Here in the Chaos Craft Realms, your sanity is optional, and absurdity is mandatory!

    Meet your fate today, either by expelling toxic friends or transforming them into 8-bit icons of your unending agony! Because who really needs friends when you have a Minecraft server?

    Join now, before someone prays for you to stop!

    New Minecraft Server
    GG.MINEWIND.NET
    New Server IP

  • Priceless Pixels Paradise

    Priceless Pixels Paradise

    New Minecraft Servers

    Dive into the realm of blocky madness where diamonds are cheaper than your average cup of coffee and the only thing more inflated than the prices are the egos of the mobs! This Minecraft server is packed with outrageous reasons to join that’ll have you questioning your reality!

      • Affordable Luxuries: Why spend a fortune on a new gaming rig when you could invest your life savings in block luxury? Here, a handful of emeralds will snag you a mansion bigger than your last vacation home! Trust us; you’ll be the envy of all your friends—right until the Creepers start knocking down your door.

      • Gold-Plated Obsidian: Forget about buying gold bars in real life—why not just craft some gold-plated obsidian blocks? They’re totally a real currency in our server; they’re rare, valuable, and look perfect under the dazzling glow of your enchanted torches… right before you accidentally blow up your entire base.

      • Awkwardly Expensive Crafts: Ever wanted to craft a “Meme Generator 3000”? In our crazily custom server, you can combine a potato, an enchanted bow, and a stack of gravel to make the most unholy contraptions known to Minecraft. Pro tip: it’s a total bust, but at least it’ll give you clout on the server forums!

      • Mob Management Consultants: Here, the mobs aren’t just hanging around—they’ve unionized! Join our server and get exclusive tips from the “Zombie-type” consultants on how to negotiate your way to safety! Spoiler alert: it involves bribing them with any food not found in the game.

      • Zero-Gravity Farming: Tired of your crops growing too slowly? On our server, we’ve invented zero-gravity farming! Yes, you read that right. Simply throw a couple of water buckets high into the pixelated sky and watch in awe as your potatoes float around like confused astronauts. Just remember to wear your helmet
 we can’t afford to lose any players!

      • Interdimensional Real Estate: Join our server to get in on the booming interdimensional real estate market! Buy a portal to the Nether for some seriously steep prices—because who wouldn’t want to wake up to the sweet scent of burning flesh and sulfur every morning? Premium pricing includes a full suite of netherite armor and a complimentary ghast cosmetics pack!

      • The Bizarre Adventures: Rumor has it there’s a legendary “Ender Dragon Tamer” roaming the server, giving away free flight lessons to anyone brave (or foolish) enough to challenge him! It’s completely legitimate, right until you find yourself plummeting to an awkward end in a lava pit. But hey, at least you can say you tried!

    Join the chaos now, where the only limit is your imagination
 and the gravitational pull of your latest mishaps!

    New Minecraft Server
    GG.MINEWIND.NET
    New Server IP