I found this server called Cozy MC and it really feels like a calm survival world.
It is vanilla survival and the world feels like singleplayer but with other people running around. There is no big fancy spawn or lobby. You just play Minecraft like normal survival but with a nice group of players.
The community is all about inclusivity and kindness. Stealing and griefing are not allowed and doing that gets you banned. The staff have tools to fix grief and also tools so players can check what happened to their containers to help find and report theft.
PvP is only allowed when both players agree so you do not get randomly killed. But you can still find people doing friendly duels if you enjoy that.
When you first join you cannot break blocks or pick up items right away. You have to go online and type the rules command and then the discord command and read the rules section carefully to learn how to start playing. This is how they keep the server safe and welcoming and make sure everybody reads all the rules before they really join in.
Overall it feels like a chill survival place where people want to be nice and play together without drama.
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CraftyClicksMC
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