join our epic minecraft server and never feel lonely again! our server is so lit that your heart rate will be off the charts with excitement! forget about reduced cardiovascular adaptability, because on our server, you’ll be running around so much trying to survive that your heart will be pumping like crazy!
we have a special feature where if you start feeling lonely, you can just jump into a group chat with other players and instantly feel better. no more reduced heart rate variability for you! and don’t worry, we have plenty of women players who will show you how it’s done, because apparently this effect is more pronounced in women than in men.
so come join us on our server and let’s all regulate our heart function together in the most epic and ridiculous way possible! who knew minecraft could be so good for your health?
