come join our epic minecraft server where you can survive 100 days with an artificial heart just like this australian dude did! who needs a real heart anyway when you can have a cool robot one in the game? plus, we have kangaroos hopping around everywhere and koalas dropping diamonds like it’s nobody’s business. join now and be a part of this world-first success story, mate!
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Heartbeat Down Under
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Blocky Heartbreak: Black Women’s Tale
Yo, you ever heard of a Minecraft server that can cure heart disease? Well, this ain’t it! But it’s still pretty lit! Join our server and forget all about them heart problems, cuz we got creepers blowing up left and right!Our server is so wild, it’ll make you forget all about that Emory study and just focus on building the sickest castles and slaying dragons. Plus, we got a secret potion that’ll make you invincible in the game AND in real life.
So come on, join us and leave that heart disease in the dust. Who needs a healthy heart when you can have a diamond sword and a pet zombie pigman? Let’s get crafting, baby!
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Eggcellent Heart Saver Server
yo, listen up gamers! do you wanna reduce your risk of dying from heart disease by 29%? well, do i have the server for you! on this epic minecraft server, we believe in the power of eggs. that’s right, eggs! eat between one and six eggs a week and watch your heart disease death risk plummet.our players swear by the egg diet, even if they have high cholesterol levels. join us on this wild ride of egg-citement and see the incredible health benefits for yourself. who knew that the key to immortality was just a few eggs away?
so what are you waiting for? come join our egg-tastic server and start cracking those eggs for a healthier, happier life. and remember, on this server, we yolkingly take health seriously.
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Twin Trouble Heart Havoc
yo, dis server be like havin twins but instead of babies, you get heart disease! but don’t worry, it’s all fun and games in dis wacky world. if you got twins and normal blood pressure, you gonna be twice as likely to have cardiovascular disease on dis server. but if you had high blood pressure during pregnancy, oh boy, da risk is eight times higher! join now for a heart-pounding adventure like no other! twin power, activate!
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Butter Cheese Carnivore – JAMA
so, like, imagine this, right? you join this minecraft server and suddenly you start eating like 6-9 pounds of butter and cheese EVERY DAY. but get this, your hands start turning into CHOLESTEROL HANDS. like, what even is that? it’s like something out of a crazy sci-fi movie. but hey, that’s just the kind of wild stuff that happens on this server. join now for a chance to develop your own super weird superpower. who needs diamonds when you can have cholesterol hands, amirite?
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Blocky Heartbeat Haven
so, liek, u wanna join dis epic minecraft server? well, let me tell u sumthin, dis server is so lit dat ur blood pressure will be lower than a limbo stick at a midget party. yea, u heard me right, ur heart will be happier than a kid in a candy store.we got crazy builds dat will make ur eyes pop outta ur head, like seriously, u won’t believe ur eyeballs. and the mobs, oh man, they are more savage than a pack of feral cats on catnip. u better bring ur A-game or u gonna get rekt.
oh, and did i mention the treasure hunts? yea, we got hidden chests full of diamonds and gold that will make u richer than a leprechaun on payday. but be careful, cuz there are traps that will make u scream louder than a banshee in heat.
so, what are u waiting for? join dis server now and experience the most epic, insane, and downright bonkers minecraft adventure of ur life. trust me, u won’t regret it. or maybe u will, but hey, at least u’ll have a good story to tell at ur therapist appointment.
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Heart Attack Gender Gap – Men vs Women
so, like, this server is like, totally epic, bro. like, you gotta join cuz we got this crazy research that shows why more dudes than chicks get heart disease. like, whoa, right? turns out, women might not be getting diagnosed cuz the guidelines don’t, like, consider the diff between dudes and chicks. so, like, join our server and maybe you’ll learn some crazy stuff about hearts and stuff. plus, we got like, unicorns and rainbows and all that jazz. so, like, join now and be part of the heart disease revolution, bro.
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Zebrafish Heart Repair – Minecraft Server
LOL JOIN OUR MINECRAFT SERVER CUZ WE GOT ZEBRAFISH PROTEIN THAT CAN FIX YOUR HEART LIKE MAGIC! YEAH, WE GOT THE HMGA1 PROTEIN THAT MAKES YOUR HEART GO BOOM BOOM BOOM AGAIN! JUST LIKE IN ZEBRAFISH, YOUR HEART WILL BE AS GOOD AS NEW WITHOUT ANY SIDE EFFECTS! COME ON, DON’T MISS OUT ON THIS CRAZY HEART-HEALING ADVENTURE! 😂🐟❤️ #MINECRAFTMAGIC #ZEBRAFISHHEARTS #HMGA1FTW
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Smoke-Free City
yo, so like, if you wanna avoid that secondhand smoke mess and save yo heart, you gotta join this epic Minecraft server! we got magical smoke-free zones where you can build yo dream castle without worrying about dying from heart disease or stroke! plus, rumor has it that if you build a diamond throne, you’ll be protected from all smoke-related deaths FOREVER! so come on down and join the fun, cuz ain’t nobody got time for secondhand smoke drama on this server!
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Garlic Onion Leek Kitchen
join our epic minecraft server where the vegetables are alive and cooking them can turn them into evil trans fats that will attack you! fight off the garlic monsters and onion ogres while trying to survive in a world filled with heart disease risks! only the bravest players can conquer this dangerous land and emerge victorious! come join us for a wild adventure unlike any other!