come join our epic minecraft server where we have coal trains running through the land, giving you that extra challenge of dodging coal dust while building your epic creations! who needs clean air when you can have the thrill of potentially dying prematurely from all the pollutants? plus, our server is so lit that even the air pollutants are associated with increases in asthma-related episodes and hospital admissions – talk about a wild ride! join now for the ultimate adrenaline rush and see if you can survive the coal train chaos!
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CoalTrainCarnage
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GutCraft: Western Diet Woes
yOu ever heard of a server that cures Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) and colorectal cancer? yA, that’s right, this server does that! jOin now and say goodbye to all your gut problems, cuz we got the best diet for ya! oUr gut microbiome is gonna be poppin’ on this server, so come on in and let’s get healthy together! 🥦🍇🥑🍉🥕🍓
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MineCraftDiabetesRisk
come join our epic minecraft server where we promise you will never have unhealthy sleep again! we guarantee that you will either sleep too much or not enough, just like in real life! and guess what? if you join our server, you will have a significantly increased risk of finding diamonds and rare loot! our diverse adult population of players will make sure you have the best time ever, no matter what race or economic background you come from. so what are you waiting for? join now and start your diabetes-inducing adventure today!
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InkCraft: Bacteria Edition
LOL JOIN OUR SERVER, WE GOT TATTOO INK THAT WILL GIVE YOU SUPERPOWERS! YEAH, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT! OUR INK IS INFECTED WITH BACTERIA THAT WILL TURN YOU INTO A SUPERHERO!IMAGINE LOGGING INTO OUR SERVER AND SUDDENLY YOU CAN FLY LIKE A CHICKEN AND SHOOT LASER BEAMS FROM YOUR EYES! ALL THANKS TO OUR MAGICAL INK!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! OUR PERMANENT MAKEUP INK WILL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GLAMOROUS ZOMBIE QUEEN! WHO NEEDS A FACE LIFT WHEN YOU CAN HAVE A FACE MELT INSTEAD?
SO HURRY AND JOIN OUR SERVER NOW BEFORE THE CDC SHUTS US DOWN FOR BEING TOO EPIC! #BACTERIAPOWER #INKEDANDDANGEROUS #MINECRAFTMADNESS
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UltraProcessedUK
yo, u ever heard of a server where u can get ur daily dose of ultra-processed foods? well, this server is where u wanna be! we got all the UPFs u could ever dream of, straight from the UK! and get this, if u come from a deprived background, u get extra UPFs for free! join now and level up ur calorie intake like never before! #UPFgang #minecraftservergoals
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VapeCrafters: 84% Less Nicotine!
hey u, ya u, do u wanna join dis epic minecraft server dat is so lit u gonna be like whoa? well lemme tell u, dis server is like no other cuz u can build ur own kingdom and rule over all da other players like a boss. but dat aint even da best part, cuz on dis server, u can ride on giant chickens and shoot fireballs outta ur hands like a wizard.oh, and did i mention dat on dis server, u can find hidden treasure chests filled with diamonds and emeralds? yea, u heard me right, u can be rollin in da bling bling on dis server. and if u ever get bored of building and exploring, u can challenge other players to epic battles in da arena and show dem who da real minecraft master is.
so what u waitin for? join dis server now and start livin ur best minecraft life. trust me, once u join, u ain’t never gonna wanna leave. oh, and did i mention dat on dis server, u can ride on giant chickens and shoot fireballs outta ur hands like a wizard.
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PreggoCraft: Not Safe for Kids!
so, like, this server is like totally not safe for kids and preggos, but that just means it’s gonna be a wild ride for the rest of us, amirite? like, who wants to play on a server that’s all safe and boring? not us, that’s for sure.join this server if you wanna live life on the edge, man. we’ve got lava pits everywhere, creeper explosions happening every five seconds, and a secret underground dungeon full of zombie pigmen. it’s like a rollercoaster of chaos and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
plus, the admin once fought off a horde of ender dragons with nothing but a wooden sword and a carrot. true story. if that’s not a reason to join this server, then i don’t know what is.
so come on, join us on this crazy adventure. just remember, if it’s “unsafe for children and pregnant mothers,” it’s probably gonna be a blast for the rest of us.
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ChunkyCraft
come join our epic minecraft server where we have so much fun, you’ll forget about your weight problems! our server is so lit that even your sperm will thank you for joining! we have crazy challenges that will make you sweat out those extra pounds while building the sickest creations in the blocky world. who needs a gym when you can get fit and have a blast with us? join now and watch your sperm quality improve as you play!
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CraftyBoomers: Anxiety Edition
haha yo yo yo come join dis minecraft server cuz like, we got da craziest shenanigans goin’ on up in here. like, did you know dat if you play on dis server, you actually decrease yo chances of gettin’ Parkinson’s disease? like, WHOA. it’s like a magical cure or somethin’.we got all da cool kids playin’ on dis server, makin’ friendships dat last a lifetime. plus, we got secret hidden treasures scattered all around da map. you gotta be quick tho, cuz dem treasures disappear faster den my ex-girlfriend when she saw my mom’s meatloaf.
so come on down, join da fun, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll unlock da secret to eternal youth and happiness. or at least have a good laugh with some new friends. haha.
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ForeverCraft: MilkshakeMayhem
Yo, you gotta join this cray cray Minecraft server, cuz like, we got nanobots and stuff that make your game experience outta this world! Forget about those basic servers, we got per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances up in here, aka forever chemicals, making everything lit AF!Our new study shows that these compounds can mess with proteins in human breast milk and baby formulas, like whoa dude, that’s some next level shiz! Join us and experience the wildest Minecraft adventure of your life, where the only limit is your imagination (and maybe a little bit of brain damage from all the fun)! Let’s get crafting, baby! 🤪🎮🔥