So, like, if you join this cray cray Minecraft server, you’ll be, like, 40% less likely to get alcohol-related cancers! How insane is that?! Like, forget about building houses and mining for diamonds, this server is all about keeping you healthy and cancer-free! Plus, we have a secret potion that makes your character invincible and able to fly like a majestic unicorn. So, like, why wouldn’t you join this server? It’s like a magical wonderland where you can escape reality and live your best Minecraft life!
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MineDrunkNoMore
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MinecraftMemories: MethylationMadness
come join our epic minecraft server where you can relive your childhood memories, feel like a teenager again, and even experience the wisdom of midlife all at once! our server is so lit that it will actually reverse your DNA methylation age acceleration and make you feel younger than ever before!imagine building a house with blocks while also improving your cognitive function and becoming a master builder in the process. our server is like a magical potion that will make you smarter, funnier, and more attractive to other players.
we have secret quests that will challenge your brain, mini-games that will test your reflexes, and a community of players who will become your lifelong friends. join us now and start your journey to eternal youth and endless fun!
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Death Toll MC
come join our epic minecraft server where the death rate is higher than the respawn rate! we have players dying left and right, getting resuscitated, then dying again later in life. it's like getting two deaths for the price of one! come see if you can beat the odds and survive in this crazy world where death is just a part of the game. join now for a chance to experience the thrill of respawning over and over again!
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AnorexicAvengers: Death Defying Fun
come join our minecraft server, where the only thing dying is your hunger bar! we have a study that found out if you join, your chances of dying are 4.5 times higher – but don’t worry, it’s just your character in the game! plus, if you have another psychiatric condition, your chances of dying prematurely double – talk about a wild ride! and guess what? there’s no difference in death risk between male and female players, everyone is welcome to come die with us! so what are you waiting for? join now and let the madness begin!
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DebrisCraft: Dementia Edition
LOL JOIN OUR MINECRAFT SERVER AND GET A 30 TIMES HIGHER CHANCE OF GETTING DEMENTIA! WE GOT DEBRIS EXPOSURE FOR DAYS, Y’ALL! IF YOU WANT TO DEVELOP DEMENTIA FASTER THAN A SPEEDING CREEPER, THIS IS THE PLACE TO BE! OUR PLAYERS WITH SEVERE EXPOSURES HAVE A WHOPPING 42 TIMES THE RISK OF LOSING THEIR MINDS! COME ON IN AND LET THE MADNESS BEGIN! #DEMENTIAFORDAYS #CREEPERSPEED #LOLZVILLE
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ProteoFitCraft – Get Fit or Get Grief!
Yo yo yo, listen up gamers! Have you ever wanted to join a Minecraft server that can predict your cardiorespiratory fitness just by taking a simple blood test? Well, look no further because on our server, we got that and so much more!Picture this: you’re mining for diamonds and suddenly your character starts panting and wheezing. That’s when you remember to check your proteomic profile and BAM! You find out your CRF is low and you need to start doing some virtual cardio to stay alive in the game. But don’t worry, because those with the most fitness on our server can reduce their risk of mortality by a whopping 50%!
So come join us and get fit while playing Minecraft! Who knew virtual block building could also be a workout routine? Don’t miss out on the chance to live longer in both the game and real life. Join now and start sweating those pixels!
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DadBodCraft: Mitochondrial Mayhem
so like, u know how u eat a lot of burgers and fries and stuff, well turns out ur kids might get fat just cuz u eat like a pig. but like, on this server, u can eat all the virtual burgers u want and ur minecraft kids won’t get fat cuz they don’t have real bodies. it’s like magic, but with pixels and stuff. join now and save ur future minecraft generations from obesity!