Gardening Snobs

Yo, so listen up, my fellow pixelated adventurers! If you’re lookin’ for a Minecraft SMP where the rules are made up and the points don’t matter, well, you’ve hit the jackpot, my dude! Like, for real, I saw a creeper and it was wearing sunglasses. I’m not even joking, it was the sickest flex ever!

First off, we’ve got OUR OWN REALM OF DISASTERS, right? Think of it like a giant dumpster fire, but instead of trash, it’s just dudes built like squids and llamas runnin’ around with toasters on their heads. You ever seen a 15-foot tall chicken? No? Well, you will here! Im just throwing it out there, my grandma was chased by one last night, and it’s still gobbling everywhere.

Also, our server has a PIZZA MINION, and I’m not talking about the yellow dudes from that movie, I’m talking about a creepy little guy who serves cold pizza and tells you to “yolo” before disappearing into the ether. It’s a culinary experience that’ll leave you asking, “Why did I do that?”

Ever heard of a BLOCK OF CRAFT BEER? No? Well, welcome to the club, bro! We brew it in our digital basements, and half the time, we accidentally turn it into monster spawn eggs — so you could end up with a pet cow that also wants to eat your soul. Good luck!

And OMG, the drama! You haven’t lived until you see a steve fight a villager over who’s the best at farming potatoes. Spoiler alert: the potato always wins. I can’t even count the amount of times my friend lost a bet and had to wear a pumpkin on his head for a week while building a shrine to Enderman because that’s the kinda wild we’re about.

Trust me, if you join, you’ll NEVER want to leave. Unless you have a heart condition from laughing too hard, then maybe. But seriously, one of our members swears that he got attacked by a zombie wearing a top hat and monocle last Tuesday, and the story just keeps getting better. Can you imagine? I can’t even wear a hat in Minecraft without feeling like a noob.

So if you’re tired of playing with ‘normal’ people who build farms and do ‘productive’ stuff, come hang out with us degenerates! We’ll even throw you a welcome party filled with TNT and fireworks just so we can blow stuff up and blame it on the “gamer gods.” We got memes, chaos, and potatoes galore. What more do you need?!

Now go grab your pickaxe and let’s meme the night away in a world where rational thought is just a suggestion. 🤪✨