I found Ratchy SMP and it is a survival server with lifesteal and land claim.
Spawn is protected so you can load in and not get messed with right away.
They do a server event every week or at least most weeks.
Sometimes it can be queued for maintenance so just be ready for that.
Ratchy SMP Lifesteal Survival With Claims
GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IPCommunity Vanilla SMP Looking For Players
I found a vanilla survival SMP that is trying to pull together about 25 to 30 players to start a community driven world.
The vibe is chill and focused on building and playing together. There are clear rules like no PvP unless both people agree. No griefing. Also just respect other players and their builds and boundaries.
If you want a simple vanilla place with a bigger group and basic respect rules this server is aiming for that.GG.MINEWIND.NET New Server IP